sin-is-ter, firstly, thank you all for the past few days postings and just that feeling of community. you know, being slightly misanthropic to start with, you all gave me hope and made me hang onto my threatened love for people. loving is so much better. as hippie as it sounds, i'm sending out the love vibes and good thoughts to everyone affected. which is all of us in varying degrees. i think this is like praying. the show here in vancouver was great, of course, and they played 'brilliant career' and 'mayfly' and 'there's too much love' and even a left banke song which they fiddled around with getting right. so very cute. they really are all beautiful, aren't they? i wanted to take them all home (yes, like kittens), but that's a lot of mouths to feed... cute mouths though. stuart and stevie did a lot of fast scottish-accent talking which everyone seemed to understand about 60% of, but it didn't matter b/c stuart's body language made up for it. as did his dancing. isobel swung her hair side to side and made everything feel all mod when you watched her for too long and her voice seemed even whispier than on record. and for so many people on stage, they were tight, perfect. and even songs i was originally lukewarm on were great. aw, it was all great. and also grate. (also, is everyone not in absolute love with stuart? he's so my #1 unattainable crush now. right next to don mckellar. (has john cusack not fallen from grace in the unattainable crush arena? i mean, 'america's sweethearts'? why, john? why? maybe it was lloyd dobler i loved all along...)) and so good to finally see jonathan richman b/c i have missed him the last few times he's been around. he even sang 'vampire girl' and 'to hide a little thought', and did a lot of cute dancing with and without guitar. yes, steve, i wish he was my dad too. i didn't get to hug or hang out with any members of the band, but that's okay. the night was such a mix of happiness and sadness to me. really just overwhelming. the only (temporarily) marring thing would be that we didn't have assigned seats and the orpheum is huge, so those of us who skipped out of work early to line up got some good seats up at the front (people ran! it was craziness), though i knew that when belle and sebastian came on stage everyone would rush up in the space between the stage and the front row and into the aisles. and it happened but, hey, what can ya do, you just have to deal with it. but people kept yelling for everyone to sit down, which just was not going to happen. it just bothered me b/c you could feel their anger, it was there, and it wasn't necessary. especially this week. and, hey, i was 10th in line and about 50 people joined their friends in line in front of me about 15 minutes before the doors opened. and then everyone ran up to the front anyway. if anyone should be bitter, it was me and the 9 people in front of me. but why ruin things that way? it sucks, but if nothing can be done, don't wreck the show for yourself. i just mention it b/c this (certain people's anger/bitterness/obnoxious behavior suddenly affecting an otherwise nice time) happens all the time and in many circumstances. and, on a massive and horrible scale, it happened on tuesday too. i couldn't help but think of that last night, hence my mixed emotions. i guess you just have to go zen over it all. but it's difficult, and it seems that anger is so much easier to feel than love in this circumstance. it's hard to turn that around. and i understand what someone said about comparing her anger/hate/even despair to how it feels to be completely in love. they are all-encompassing, they block out rational thought. but love makes you feel good and you love it, whereas anger makes you feel terrible and you hate it (one would hope.) yeah. okay, so a while ago ken chu made me say 'oh my god!' because he said 'police camera action'! it made me want to get cable in my very own home. that and the return of The Rock. but right now i don't even want to turn on the tv to the one channel i do get. as someone said, we shouldn't feel guilt, but i don't feel that, i just feel confused on a new level. forget post-modernism and even post-post-modernism; this is post-september 11, 2001. i don't even know what to say anymore. and i know this letter is long. love to all, robyn ===== I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything. ~Steven Wright ~~~ Robyn Fadden rfadden@yahoo.com Vancouver, BC __________________________________________________ Terrorist Attacks on U.S. - How can you help? Donate cash, emergency relief information http://dailynews.yahoo.com/fc/US/Emergency_Information/ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+