It rained all day today. It's autumn. I hate autumn. So depressing. I spent most of the morning wandering around the garden. It's so dead this time of year; the flowers are drooping brown skeletons if they still exist at all, the shrubs are bare and solemn, and the hedges are so lonely with their solitary color. I want to ally with the plants, to give into the death surrounding me. I miss the birds in the trees, the squirrels hopping around with giant walnuts hanging out of their mouths. I miss summer. I put my walkman on and sat on the cobblestone wall next to our waterfall. I watched the wind and cried, cried until the tears turned my face into a damp mirror. I found no sun to reflect, so I cried some more. I threw my head in my hands and watched the teardrops slowly drop off my chin to form a small puddle on the wall beside me. I continued to cry; the puddle continued to grow. After I had created a substantial pool of tears I abruptly stopped and rubbed my eyes. I opened them to find a bird lapping up my salty lake. "Alas, who are you, fine, colored bird?" "Squawk!" Why was this bird (a tropical one at that!) here? Shouldn't he/she have migrated by now? Did he fail the remedial "Living as a Bird" class or something? I didn't know if I should pity or punish his stupidity. Upset as I was, i decided upon the latter. Using my lighter as a lever (I'm a smoker) I wedged a rock the size of an apple off of the wall. I stood and prepared to throw. "Squawk! Arr, matey, I be having a message for ye!" "Hark! Bird, you speak! What jabber have you for me, yonder winged fellow?" "Squawk!" And with that he flew away! I chased him around the garden, yelling for him/her to stop. My lungs aren't what they used to be. I'm a smoker. Frustrated, I stopped and sat down for a cigarette. Apparently the bird didn't want to give me his stupid message. And then: a light touch on my shoulder. "You! How dare ye trouble thou again!" "Arrr, I be havin' a message for ye!" "Well, tell me yer' bloomin' message or it'll be the plank for ye, aye!" "Arrr, you should be turning around, lad, aye!" And so I turned around. There, in the middle of the garden was a book. Where did it come from? I opened the cover. Inside it said simply "For Christiaan, x" "Arrr, I be havin' a message from yonder! Listmum Princess Honey of the Europes be sayin' you know what to do now, arrr!" "I-I--wait--you're the..? But, me? Why?" "Arrr, dinnae be askin' questions, lest I be makin' you'se walk the plank! Yonder Listmum Princess Honey says, 'go forth, go forth and find yonder Princess Christiaan of the Michigans, he shall know what to do with ye!' I be thinkin' you're a bloomin' retardo, aye, with you're crying and such. Aye, you should be a smilin'!" And so I opened the book to a random page. Or was it random? I believe in fate. Here is what it said: " The Song of the Daffodil Fairy I'm everyone's darling: the blackbird and starling Are shouting about me from blossoming boughs; For I, the Lent Lily, the Daffy-down-dilly, Have heard through the country the call to arouse. The orchards are ringing with voices a-singing The praise of my petticoat, praise of my gown; The children are playing, and hark! they are saying 'The Daffy-down-dilly is come up to town!' " I knew what was to be done. I smiled and stood up. I walked a few paces only to find a beautiful daffodil standing high in the midst of the decaying foilage. I plucked a petal and wrote the following with the brightest Love I could find: Dearest Honey: You know what to do. x, Christiaan I nestled the petal on the parrots back and sent him on his way. There will be no more tears; it is summer again. x Love, Christiaan PS: now you know why I wouldn't tell you who I was going to pick, honey :) PPS: I didn't break any poetry parrot rules, did I? PPPS: sorry, I know I broke like every list rule in the book on this post. Well, Belle and Sebastian, blah blah, now fuck off and leave me alone. _________________________________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free E-mail from MSN Hotmail at http://www.hotmail.com. Share information about yourself, create your own public profile at http://profiles.msn.com. +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the undead Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "tech-heads and students" +-+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "peculiarly deranged fanbase" "frighteningly named +-+ +-+ Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+