It feels strange to be so nervous about posting to a list that I have been reading for four months now. My palms are slick, my heart is beating faster and my tongue feels at least four times its normal size (what this has to do with anxiety I don't know). I was told about sinister by an attractive young gentleman at my new workplace (in my new town of residence) who was attempting to make a point to me about obsessive fans. Little did he know that I would become a compulsive reader and new member myself within a few short weeks. I can see him sitting across the office from me now, looking significantly less attractive since I have learned what wonders lay within the object of his disparaging comments. A little about me: My name is Rachel I am 5ft7inches tall I have brown hair, it is long. I am 27 yrs old I live in Boston I hope you are forming a lovely and completely unjustified picture in your heads. It is also very strange to be writing this when in the pathetic mood I find myself in today (but why not, this job is too boring to bear one more minute of uninterrupted). My recent jaunt across country was prompted by that most glorious of emotions, love. Many weeks ago now, I packed up my belongings and set out on what I was sure would be the most worthwhile journey of my young life and arrived in this new city breathless with anticipation of the fun and adventures to come. However, now that I find myself here, within spitting distance of that wonderful awe-inspiring object of my long distance affections for so many months I am suddenly unsure of what it was I was feeling in the first place. I feel completely bewildered by this sudden unexpected stagnation of my feelings towards the boy. We are having many good times still, and outwardly nothing has changed, but the little voice inside my head chanting 'this isn't enough' simply will not be silenced. How could this be, when we were apart I was head over heels and now I just don't know? Wow, that has been fermenting inside for far too long. Simply electronically recording these feelings has lifted the load - thank you, you wise and wonderful people for providing a place to let that out. On a brighter note - I am very excited to be seeing B&S for the first time very very soon!!!! First time love to everyone Rachel _________________________________________________________________ Send and receive Hotmail on your mobile device: http://mobile.msn.com +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+