I was just reading the uk.music.alternative newsgroup this afternoon, when I got a message telling me to go to http://www.angelfire.com/sd/TechnoWonderland/Rant.html I went because Belle & Sebastian were in the header.
When I got there, I was outraged. To save you all having to go there yourselves, here is what this person said:
CURRENTLY GOING THROUGH THE VERBAL BLENDER ARE...
BELLE AND SEBASTIAN Ooooohhhh, they're so nice aren't they? I mean, you sit down in a comfy armchair next to the hi-fi, wearing >your cosy pink slippers, drinking some of that lovely tea that Auntie gave you for Christmas, and after a >while you just can't help but be envelopped in their fluffy bunny-wunny harmonies and cutesy pop >sensabilites. Right? WRONG!
Belle and Sebastian are turgid pop execrement accidentally diverted from the planet Crap, sent down to >Earth when their sewage system went wrong and the engineers couldn't be called out 'cos they were >spending the evening watching 'The Fast Show' (3rd series). This is music for people who are turned by >the sight of paint drying, people who wet their pants at the promising thought of seeing Derek Jarman's >"Blue" on TV for the 17th time (this time, though, they're going to remember to tape it so they can watch it >whenever they want to).
God knows how or why they have attained a position, at least in Britain, of being a band on the pinnacle of >great success. Radio 1's Evening Session has of course got something and everything to do with it, a >show which quite unashamedly denies the chance for decent music like Puressence and Dweeb to be >played whilst promoting unmittigated bollocks like Ocean Colour Scene.
But the rise of B&S to prominence goes way beyond this. This 'outfit' is one of the forefathers of the >NWOLMIC ('New Wave of Look at Me; I'm Cool') movement, a harkback to the heady daze of the early >nineties when you
These days it's the same; we've recently had the inexplicable rise of Embrace to power - a group so >backward you'd think they had based their whole existence on Kriss Kross - and the rebirth of Radiohead, >perfect
'indie' bands cos you were 'trendy'. Spiritualised, My Bloody Valentine, Indie >Shmindie Pap Krap - you liked these cos no-one else did. Didn't matter, of course, that the reason no-one >else bought the records was cos they were the sort of bland, anaemic tosh that a sloth could make on one of his days off. perveyors of the funereal dirge. Both of these encapsulate the late-nineties ethos of 'NWOLMIC'. >Iffy songs? Boring live? Who cares? They're 'cool', so I'm going to buy all their records and parade round >like a total gimp until either a) I connect spiritually with loads of other 'cool' people who 'like' the same stuff >as me and we live forever and ever in total musical harmony (Amen), or b) I get twatted by a stranger for >being a dull-witted, non-thinking tosser.
Ultimately, though, I feel sorry for B&S, 'cos I'm sure they never wanted
you wouldn't want others to hear it for fear of being laughed at. Obviously some studio technician stole the >master tapes and went round to Melody Maker for a joke, saying they were the 'Next Big Thing', and >events sort of spiralled out of control.
Still, I'm sure with your excellent musical taste you haven't bought anything by them, anyway. **17th January 1998**
If you believe the above to be TOTAL BOLLOCKS or alternatively GODLIKE GENIUS, then e-mail me with a well-considered response. Thanks to the CB Boy (Warwick), Tom (Nottingham) and Graham (Glasgow), but here's the best one so >far. Keep 'em coming... "'Sans' a whisper of a lie, I have never wet my pants at seeing 'Blue' on TV, but as an indominatible Belle & >Sebastian fan, the opening bars of 'Blue' from 'A Storm In Heaven' have been known to strangle my >presence and cause all sorts of mass hysteria including ejaculation. Just thought I'd set
this sort of adulation. I mean, if >you actually went into a recording studio and laid down the kind of colourless aural wallpaper that they did, the record straight. >PS Is indominatible a word?"
Benita (Warwick)
RE-ENTER THE SCENE
Email: frujx@csv.warwick.ac.uk
Response? I say the whole list should email him back to tell him that we believe the above to be total bollocks, but that's just my opinion. Maybe we should get his address and then wait outside the butchers for him with a knife and a bike chain. If I kill him now, who's going to miss him?
I notice from the sinister site that mauab@csv.warwick.ac.uk - eculb@csv.warwick.ac.uk -mavgc@csv.warwick.ac.uk and
By the way, I was only joking about killing this bloke, so don't do it kids! -----Original Message----- From: jon g. <jon.g@BTInternet.com> To: Belle & Sebastian List <sinister@majordomo.net> Date: 21 February 1998 17:39 Subject: Sinister: Horriffic and terrible things at Warwick University liked pyuja@csv.warwick.ac.uk
are on the list with csv.warwick.ac.uk email addresses. Do you know this bloke frujx@csv.warwick.ac.uk ?(A long shot - to know someone in a huge institution by their email address, but you might do(!)). Ahhh - looking at the newsgroup posting, his name is Rob Learner. This is getting pretty dangerous for rob now - we know his name and where he lives!!!!
jon g. jon.g@btinternet.com - http://www.btinternet.com/~jon.g/
ps - belle & sebastian won both the album of 1997 and the single of 1997 on my website voting thingy, so they should be receiving a polystyrene award statue thingy in about two months time....
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