I'm drinking wine, and looking at the screen. I look at my hand holding the glass and I remember myself standing outside a bar toilet in November '99, glass in hand and leaning on the wall, waiting for a certain boy to come out. 'I have something to tell you', I said. 'Should I say it here?'. He said yes. 'I'm in love with you'... We moved in together a few months later. We started fighting a few weeks later. We never stopped. We broke up. Today, or yesterday rather, I had a great day. The weather was great: windy, sunny and a bit cloudy at the same time. The sky was deep blue, the clouds were little and white, the wind was coming through the window. I dreamed of driving out of the city and lying down on a hill looking at the sky. But I don't know anyone with a car. Or anyone that would consider it a nice idea. Or any hills around here. So instead, I ended up drinking coffee on a table on the pavement in the centre of the city, with the aforementioned boy. And talking about Sinister. Honestly. About john john too. Then we walked around the city looking for something he needed to fix someone's door. We didn't find it. I was tempted to walk into a travel agency and ask how much a ticket for Edinburgh for the next weekend would be, but I didn't. We sat on a bench and had something to eat. The bench was in the middle of the street and the wind blew exactly in the direction of the street, and it felt as if we were going to take off... We didn't. I was smiling, and said, 'I don't want you to move to Athens.... It's things like that that make me feel...' and at that point he jumps in and says, ' that you can take it till you move to Scotland, right?'. And he was right. I wondered a bit about how can everything can go wrong when you're in love with someone, and then go right when you're not. People think it's weird... but it's just beautiful. A second chance to be with someone and love them, and this time it's working!!! We said goodbye, and I went into a record shop which a friend of mine owns. He was my boyfriend too, the first one (the aforementioned one was the second). And I'm friends with him too. Honestly. I went out shortly after, with a Housemartins and Felt album. Now That's What I Call Quit Good, and The Strange Idols Patterns And Other Stories/Ignite The Seven Cannons. I walked around a bit more, and bought Sweetie a present. Walked a bit more, to the bus stop. Waiting for a bus makes me dreamy, even more when it's windy and it's getting dark. There was a parking opposite of me, but it's one of the few places where there are trees in the city. Tall trees with leaves that fall in the wind, on parked cars. And buses all around. And the sea next to that. I got home to discover there was no one there. I turned on the computer and played the Housemartins cd. It made me happy. When they came back, soon afterwards, they found me grinning in front of the screen. Looking really happy (I was really happy too). I think it made them worry. My mum, my brother, his girlfriend, his best friend. My dad was the last one to come in. My dad usually hates me, but when there are people around, he behaves, and it's then he remembers he loves me. I like it when a lot of people gather together in a house, especially when it's not planned. It usually feels like celebrating something. Life,probably. He decided to cook. I went out to buy some wine -the weather was still great, as I walked in the night I was amazed I could feels so happy without something really wonderful having happened to me. And glad. Back home, I was lying on my mum's bed, listening to Felt, and talking to my mum who was hanging clothes to dry, my brother enters the room. He has just discovered our dad is talking to his girlfriend, trying to convince her to give up the job she found. God knows why. For no reason really apart from the fact that telling people what they should do, and why, makes him feel better. So my brother walks in, looks at us, and says, 'Has your *husband* been drinking?'. That's how my life is these days. Weird. Sunny. Windy. Dreamy. Lonely sometimes, but in a magical sense. I hope it stays that beautiful. Love, and keep the faith, Dimitra +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+