hi list. I'm in the clear! Hurray. And now I have a sinister story to tell you. What is extra strange is that I went to the library today to get away from the messy intrigue of my life and wouldn't you know, part of my course is on conspiracies. Which is of course the most sinister of all things corrupt becuase as my extensive 4 hour research today proves, the government is hugely complicity in every plot to overthrow the state. But no time for that, heres the story. Its a bit tough going at times, but bear with it - it is a harsh lesson in the school of life. There is a porter system in my college known as Services. They are a glorified police force/KGB. Some of them even have blue blue eyes and blonde hair. When I graduated last year, I realised I needed some type of job to keep me going. I decided to join services. I loved it at first because it was a very cushy job but then for reasons out of my control, i was transferred centres. Then I was moved to a place where bitchiness and back stabbing was plentiful. There was one man there who was very interested in the fact that I worked for the paper. A little too interested some might say. A couple of weeks past and I came to realise that actually these people weren't very nice. I was quite unhappy in work without really being able to pinpoint why. The head of services at the time hated my guts, which was part of it but I just felt uneasy whenever I went in. Suddenly I started accidently missing shifts, as in I'd be pencilled in on Mondays for Monday nights and then get in trouble for not showing. For being told to go on extra lunch and then getting in shit for taking too long. then I did a terrible thing. I was working one night and i had a boy in the office. i know it was wrong because i got caught. After this, i was forced to attend a meeting where I was severely reprimanded. I was forced to go on training as my probation period which , if I failed, I was out. I knew fucking everything for the assessment and really pulled my socks up and made the head of services love my little twinkle toes yet managed to fail assessment. How odd, i thought. So I resat it. this time, although the questions were ridiculously hard again., i felt i had done pretty well. But no, strangely I failed again. Now all this time, certain people , such as the boy who was very interested in the fact that I worked for the paper were making my life hell. I belived in conspiracy theories even though you have this safety latch inherent in you which reassures you that you are just being paranoid. I also had my friends in work (one person) telling me not to be silly although they did acknowledge that I wasn't having an easy time of it. i got really annoyed and upset when i failed the second time, becauseI felt like the scapegoat in an interdepartment struggle. I also felt like I was being made an example of , ie the girl who failed assessment ten times before passing, so future generations would have that as a case study. Well no thank you, while posterity will benefit greatly from my biography i don't want to be remembered in that way. So i quit. the head of services who now thought I was great was devasted and asked me to come back in the summer. i said I'd think about it. I was so happy to leave and my friend organised a big party and loads of people came to it. At this party, the boy who took a huge interest in my extracurricular activites kissed me on the cheek and was real nicey nicey to meand told me that when I got caught with the boy in the office it was cause John , a boy I worked with, told. Now, I think the boy with the uncanny interest in me, who we'll call MOG from now on, is a dangerous person. Hes a total bitch and very clever and easily has the ability to backstab anyone. Actually I'm kind of afraid of him. So obviously I'm keeping him at arms length , laughing and joking with him because there is no way I'm going to cross this boy. Cut to yesterday. My friend in work rings me distraught saying how John (mentioned above) is suing MOG for divulging confidential information to me and twisting it (defamation of character.) the truth was while john did tell, he was put under pressure by MOG and the other Managers who had seen me already. Now I knew MOG had it in for me on account of a couple of other incidents and a couple of roster switching occasions and just his general bitchiness. So when he told me john told, I took it with a grain of salt, having intially suspected John but written it off as paranoia and also bad judgement because John is a decent guy. Myself and my friend were implicated in a separate matter which involved the same people but also the girl I hate. Now I can't go into it, but she tried to save herself thus implicating me and my friend unjustly so while we played a minor role in the defamation of charac ter of John, it was miscontrued and also not meant in any form of malicious intent. Shes the one I wanted to implicate but only beacuse I knew she was behind it and cos I hateher, even though thats not a good reason. But today me and my friend went and sorted it out with John and really even if we were still involved (which we're not) its obvious nothing malicious was done. But ... john told me off the record that MOg had a vendetta against me since day one. Beacuse of the involvement with the paper. It was him who made the head of services hate me at the start, he spread vicious completely untrue rumours,. changed the roster so I looked unreliable and proof of that is that the same thing happened John who he also had it in for for different reasons. He'd do stuff like allow me to make mistakes , then write up a report on it and he fiddled with my files and my wages and brought my conduct up at every meeting. The worst thing is I believed in a conspiracy theory and felt like I was cracking up for doing so. I don't mean to sound overdramatic but it was actually true all along. the worst thing is that evil people like him get away with that sort of bullying with no repercussions ever. He decided to get rid of me and did - it took him 6 months but he still succeeded. He decided to get rid of John and did after a year. (he has more strength of cahracter and i am very vunerable politically) Instinct is a great thing. I'm never distrusting it again. This has sounded like a self indulgenet rant but there was a great response to the litigation wail of dispair so this is to say thanks to all the nice people and not to the mean person who made scathing comments. people like you are particularly nasty because you like to kick people when they are down. Whats worst is that my friend is still working there and can feel the first phase of MOG getting rid of her paraonia coming on, and theres no way to prevent it. I think she should cut her losses and leave now because if you fight him back, he will sting back even harder. Hes just evil. In a way though, I'm so glad it happened because i have to get a real job soon and its taught me alot about office politics and keeping everyone at arms length and the necessity in having No political enemies and the importance of keeping a low profile. This has been a very harsh lesson for the belle and sebastians of this world but it just goes to show how too much escapism isn't really all that good for your moral wellbeing. God, I've aged at least 15 years over the last two days. Lets all sigh together. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. I think I better do some yoga. ________________________________________ Disclaimer : the information which is obtained through a quiet perusal of these emails should be absorbed by osmosis. Allow one to two years for the genius of each and every intentional spelling mistake and grammtical error to sink in for maximum effect. Recognising that Denise sometimes embellishes stories and leans towards outright lies is important for your own acumen of the holistic elements of the emails. Should your knee get itchy whilst you read emails from Denise, she is completely unresponsible unless of course, she happens to be tickling your knee. 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