Where to begin? With an apology, perhaps. Sorry if I gave the impression that I didn't believe certain revelations the other day. It's not that I don't beleive them, it's just that I'm pig sick with jealousy. I mean just look at him - he writes a load of crap about falling off his bike and gets called a genius; he sings as if someone's gotten hold of his grollocks and people say he has the voice of an angel; he wears succession of frankly dubious t-shirts and his arms are showered with praises. The only way I can stomach the success of that swine is if every so often someone asks "IS STUART MURDOCH A BIG GAY PUFF?" which is unlikely to happen if everybody thinks Ding Dong is Mad Dog's bird. Trousers wrote: I am not Chris Geddes! I refuse to accept the name given to me by English oppressors. You may now call me Maccaiighghhhgh X. The Dumfries Resistance Brigade is dedicated to the overthrow of the Sassenach Police State by any means necessary. We only agree to this interview if it is conducted entirely in Gaelic. Have you been hanging out in my local supermarket, Trousers? I have endeavoured to "stay pressed" all weekend in your honour. I am impressed by your grasp of current affairs and/or your imagination. Which is more than can be said for Naughty Robert: I may be treading on dodgy ground here, but fuck me, the Baader-Meinhof gang were cool. I watched a documentary about them once, and it was more chilling than cool, especially the dramatic moment when what's her name decides it's time for action instead of words. Most disturbing. Fortunately I know that Robert is merely pushing back the boundaries of top comedy, and I had to do some judicious editing to make him look like a psycho. And besides which, I just wrote "BIG GAY PUFF" in reference to Stuart Murdoch, so I can hardly talk. Didn't that Auteurs bloke have a group named after them? There are lots of reggae instrumentals named after similar organisations in Africa. Well, probably not all that similar. But there aren't many named after Save the Children or the Women's Institute or the British Legion or RADA. Megan, I'm not married, and neither is my wife. It's a long story. As for insults, I don't mind being called a "bucket of stale wee-wee" and a "fat clown", but I do feel a great deal of resentment at being accused of having "boring packaging ideas" and living in "Neorockland". In fact, I live in failed soul-rock fusion land. My latest purchase is "Songs/Hey Love" by Rotary Connection. What a strange how-do-you-do it is! Warm and cold, fast and slow, intimate and distant, freaked out and relaxed, all at the same time. Minnie Ripperton is as high pitched as ever, but doesn't quite reach the sublime heights of "Loving You", which I suppose is inevitable. But I'm not disappointed, because it contains a version of Cream's "Tales of Brave Ulysses", which once featured in a Trouser Press poem. Have you got any more poems like that one, Stephen? We could do with a bit of fucking culture round here. Speaking of great literature, I must say how much I'm still enjoying "The Dirty Trilogy of Havana" by Pedro Juan Gutierrez, rarely have I felt so close to an author. On saturday I went to the pictures and it was "There's Something About Mary" and Jonathan Richman was up a tree and he was dubbed into Spanish and it spoilt it, but the film was good it was funny and it made me laugh and it continued my amazing run of films with wanking in them and Macaroon Diaz is quite good looking, I admit it, but how come on one had told me that one of my all-time heroes is in it? I refer, of course, to Brummie comedian ( I think he's Brummie) Lee Evans. Who'd have thought it? From hilarious Norman Wisdom impersonator to box office smash and forces sweetheart. It's a strange world. Yes I did know that Brynsley Forbes (or something) out of Aswad was in the Double Deckers. I fancied Tiger like mad, I wish she'd join the list. Thank you for listening to my incessant drivel. Peter " I like to masturbate while smelling my own armpits." - Pedro Juan Gutierrez +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list please mail "sinister@majordomo.net". To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to "majordomo@majordomo.net". For list archives and searching, list rules, FAQ, poor jokes etc, see http://www.majordomo.net/sinister +---+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" +---+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+