so many years ago, circa 91? there was a mickey mouse club offshoot "band" called The Party. it was comprised of 5 members of the show who recorded an album or two together. i had a crush on damon pompolina....but i digress. they had this song called "Shoulda Coulda Woulda" about this interaction between a boy/girl and thier crush. it is sort of a song about missed oppurtunities and longing....the typical, teenage unrequited love sort of stuff. this song is all i can think about since last night. i totally fumbled a moment that i have dreamed of for years. i knew that i was going to meet dave gahan last night. he is one of my very favourite singers of ever. he is also someone who has always kind of given me hope. he got to about the lowest point anyone can reach, and pulled himself out of it, rebuilt his life, wrote and recorded a lovely solo record, and is just someone who has always been, at the risk of sounding naff, inspiring to me. so as i was saying. i knew i was going to meet him last night. standing in line for the show, which was to be the 30 minute acoustic foreplay for the show tonight, i made a couple of new friends. lovely girls, chris and jaime. during the show, jaime and i were the only 2 people in the venue standing up, singing, and dancing.....it was the lamest crowd ever!!!!! dave took notice of us, jaime in particular as she is far more extroverted than i...so all was fine. he was to be doing a signing, which wasn't the atmosphere in which i hoped to meet him, but it would do. i would at least get the opportunity to say hello and tell him some of the speech i had been mentally preparing for weeks. it was going to be, in equal amounts, charming, sincere, honest, thankful, non-scary, rationally spoken, heartfelt, ironic, and profound. i was going to tell him, in no detail, that the past year has been less than good. that keeping in mind that people (him) have gone through similar things, and worse things, and are still alive and kicking, serves as a reminder that things aren't so bad. i was going to tell him that the words he sings, and the manner in which he sings them, bring me to tears. i was going to say that i am really happy that he was able to write and record an album on his own....something he had been wanting to do for years. i was going to tell him that the words he wrote meant something to me. i was going to tell him that there are a lot of us who think that he is talented in his own right, outside of depeche mode. i was going to tell him so many things. of course, that didn't happen. when jaime chris and i approached him, he grinned with recognition. he said to jaime and i "you seemed like you enjoyed yourselves?" she laughed. he signed our items and asked me my name. i was an idiot. i stood there, catatonic almost, unsure about the whole thing and questioning whether or not he was a real, tangible person. he asked me my name and i muttered "you're amazing." he smiled at me, winked and said thank you. jaime said, her name is christine. he said "thank you christine." and asked if we would be at the show tonight. i blew it. all of the things i wanted to tell him....things it felt important for me to tell him, and i didn't get any of it out. hopefully my karma allows for second chances. ~stine __________________________________ Do you Yahoo!? Yahoo! SiteBuilder - Free, easy-to-use web site design software http://sitebuilder.yahoo.com +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+