i'm back, and even more tedious and longwinded and dull than ever before... wow, my inbox was rather full - a week's sinister is quite a bit. but when you get stories as lovely as erica's bikini tale it's more than worth it... 'oh lucky dog, to chew the top of erica', as shakespeare almost said ;) so, here's a little bit about the first ever cyprus sinister meetup. there were supposed to be three people attending - me, natasha and alex runchman recently of this parish, but he never came to the phone, he was always in the bath, and so nat and i had to manage on our own. the b&s songs that seemed to turn up most frequently were dylan in the movies and rhoda. there was no tigermilking, though - just the 'rock garden' in ayia napa, with rage against the machine, guns 'n roses and metallica (which i sung along to word for word) and offspring (where nat did the honours), and hundreds of REALLY shitty clubs and bars full of drunken english and scandinavian pricks. THE FACE calls it 'the new ibiza' and put it at the top of the 'coolness barometer'. fucking right - well done, people at THE FACE (YEAH, CAPITALISE - THEN MAYBE PEOPLE WILL THINK WE'RE HIP). you obviously know a lot and you're not just sad little people trying to be trendy and cool and arty but just being wankers. oh no. and your target audience can afford chanel couture. oh yes. grr... silly magazine... um, it was a really great holiday. i haven't got much of a tan, and the only time i really went out in the far-too-hot sun to try to get one was on the last morning. i'll let lovely natasha stop lurking and talk about the rest of the time if she wants - i'll just do the last day. well, we woke up around eight thirty, and i made a huge coffee and chocolate and vanilla icecream smoothie, and drank it down rather quickly. then i had a shower while nat made breakfast, and we went out into the sun for me to dry off. shy was finding it hot, and so i should have cottoned on that MAYBE i should pay some attention to those nagging doubts and that slight burning feeling, but no. i went inside again, and the airconditioning was on and it was cold, and my gut went all a-quivering. so i rushed to the loo, and after having been careful not to fart or burp all week so as not to appall natasha i proceeded to make explosive noises from both ends of my body... in the end, i was having severe difficulty moving, and i was having to rush to the loo every three minutes while i packed my bag. i tried to throw up in the vain hope that it'd make me feel better, but no. my attempt at 'pulling the trigger' just succeeded in making me issue the loudest belch i've ever made. i would have been proud if i hadn't felt so shit. anyway, after about four litres of water i got to the airport, and the only loo there was through this REALLY greasy pizzeria, and so every time i needed to get rid of some of the water i had drunk i had to look at all this superdisgusting food... not good. and then (as always with public loos, i find) there was always the leftover from someone else all over the seat/ floor/ walls. lovely. anyway, eventually i said goodbye to my fave listcrush (ok martin, i remember that beer - i'm off to vote for you... as soon as you send us all a poem...) and got into departures. while queueing for the gate, they changed the time from 16:45 to 21:45. this is bad at anytime - when ill and broke and wanting to die, it's even worse. and 'the lads' from ayia napa were there, making horrible noise and brandishing their kebabs under my nose and... i only just made it to the loo to retch and blurgh... then, eventually on the plane, i was in the middle of two young families. aren't babies lovely - especially when they scream non-stop for five hours... and they didn't have my vegi meal, and after emptying my gut so successfully earlier i was desperate for food, and so i ate the armpit flavoured ghoulash of random beast (donkey? rat? who knows...) and promptly threw it all up again. well done me. anyway, that was about it. after that i listened to GYBE! very loud (that man doing the long speech about the government and guns is amazing... wow) started to feel a bit better (well enough for sinister chat when i got back), and now my tummy is fasting but fine. i have to fly again today though... aberdeen-ish beckons. are there any sinisteroonies in ballater? or nearby? aren't b&s's management called 'banchory' or something? any connection? if so, mail me, and if i can get to a computer to check my mail i'd like to maybe meet up for a pint or two. which reminds me - the night before my bathroom fireworks was the first night for as long as i can remember without alcohol... is there a connection? but it was also the first night for ages where i ate unhealthy food... maybe that was it. anyway, i'm sorry i missed tigermilking, and i thought maybe we should have a picnic at the start of september to celebrate austrian dogs. and maybe erica could make a new bikini top out of cornish pasties or something ;) oh, tim - i was in the video for the song with the lyrics 'blessed truly are the blind/ the meek and kind'. and i looked like a girl, with my long locks. and i couldn't act for shit. little change there then... i think i've got the tape somewhere, so if i can find it i'll lend it to you. anyway, off for another week :( i've missed you all - keep my inbox pumping... love Marcus XXX ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the reborn Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail "sinister@majordomo.net". 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