Cheerleaders and perverts, I see Chris just beat me to the Glasgow picnic report - but that's OK because he didn't mention anything in the pub - funny that. I had a suspicion he'd forgotten it all when he mailed me this morning and said could I do a report and he would "follow it up". He wanted to make sure what really happened I think. Well the day in Glasgow started spiffingly when, not wanting to be the first because that's not C!O!O!L!, I wandered in John Smiths and flicking through their small and perfectly formed CD collection I found some cracking stuff, including "Songs For The Jet Set". I have everyone's favourite Thai listee, Oon to thank for this who sent me the most fabulous tape of stuff, of which Tomorrows World's "Kites Are Fun" briefly eclipsed "Je T'Aime" as world's greatest pop song last week for ten minutes, which is something of a record. Wow. Sentence two and I am babbling. OK - we were due to meet at 1pm outside Fopp Records on the Byres Road for a blissful lazy butterfly-strewn Christopher Robin picnic - at 12:58 the heavens opened and it pissed down, which I thought was quite funny. We met a huddled group of about 15 wet B&S people (wet as in damp, I should add) hiding in the shop doorway - guess which dickhead had brought an umbrella ("for goodness sake Paul, it's a picnic you don't need one of THEM.."). Chris and Keith looked like bag ladies with their cheesy straws and dips and fairy cakes. Anyway, we all bravely trudged off to the botanics, picking up a dodgy looking character on the way, some Stuart Smirnoff or someone who "said" he sang in a "band". We're friendly types so we tossed him a few sandwiches without checking his credentials. When we got there, we sat on a bench in a line like we were waiting for the doctor, nibbled like rabbits and fed the pigeons. It started pissing down again so we ran for the big Victorian greenhouse thingy and admired a rather plasticky orchid show in true B&S spirit and Mr Smirnoff showed us his 60s camera he keeps in a sponge bag. After a bit the murmurs of "pubbb" from Chris Leonard got too much, so Keith got us all together, tied our shoelaces and wiped out mucky faces, and led us off in a row to the pub. That was it really. We went to the pub. We stayed there for - was 7 hours and a jolly time was had by all 15 (approx of us). All I can remember is: o Much amusement at Linda's clip from the Daily Record about Arab Strap being a "disgrace to Falkirk" (the mayor) o The appearance of Keith's genetically engineered clone, Leon o Stuart's story about being trapped in a hawthorne hedge for half an hour by a herd of wild ferocious cows o An unhealthy fascination with testicles and medical experiments - not in the B&S spirit I feel o Ghost stories o Garlic dip all over everyone's coats o Stuart's rain-shrunken dog on wheels hat doing the rounds o Chris peeing his pants It all started running down in numbers around 8 oclock, but Susannah kept us all going with tales of missing ears. I can't report on the rest of the evening, as mummy said I had to go home, but it sounds like noone else can really either - I wait with bated breath. Anyway hello to everyone like Anne, Julia, David, Stuart's mate Paul who promises he'll join the list, oh god I can't remember all your names, but thanks for coming anyway and especially to those of you who didn't know anyone at all - we're not that bad really are we? Oh and thanks a million to Keith and Anne and Chris and Julia or whoever it was who bought all the food. Resounding success seems to be the general opinion, so there will be more, although whether we will have the gall to keep calling them "picnics" and stretching the Kitchen concept to the limit remains to be seen. Sunday saw a little soiree in Edinburgh with Linda, Keith, Susannah and Mick, fresh and besuited from an Amphetameanies gig, all stuffing curry down their gobs. Guess what we talked about? Bull's testicles. I begin to see a theme emerging for the new LP... Honey xxx ----------------------------------------------------------------------- . This message was brought to you by the Sinister mailing list. . To send to the list please mail "sinister@majordomo.net". . For subscribing, unsubscribing and other list information please see . http://www.majordomo.net/sinister . For questions about how the list works mail owner-sinister@majordomo.net . Ascolta, questo � pish, io sto andando lasciare -----------------------------------------------------------------------