"Well, I'll be damned. (If I'm lucky.) I turn my head for nary a second and if the list hasn't been overtaken by knasty knitters." To all of those who incessantly remark about how horrible my puns are: Why was I not sent a Thank You note for not beginning that rant (of almost a year passed) with a hearty, "Well, I'll be darned!"? You only have yourselves to blame. CHRISTMAS: I would be remiss if I didn't send out huge appreciatory thanks* to everyone who participated in the Sinister Christmas Present Exchange Extravaganza 2001. We had over fifty people participate and lots of wonderful people like Brandt Fundak who volunteered to send out eleven (ACE) mixtapes without wanting anything in return. If anyone hasn't gotten their present yet or wants to apologize for being late (instead of ultimately sorry) then let me know so I can whip out those Brass knuckles of mine I got for Christmas. I need to break them in sometime. NEW YEARS: Last year, I was driving to work one day late in December and *oops* forgot to turn off to go to the bookstore. Instead, I ended up on a roadtrip to New Orleans thinking, "Big city, small town girl, New Years - maybe I'll get taken advantage of." Unfortunately, it didn't happen. This year I ended up on a roadtrip with none other than Miss "Dorothy Parker Makes Me Want To Drink Bathtub Gin, Have A Bad Love Affair, And Attempt Suicide" Katy who you might remember from such dialogues as: Me: Ah, looking at Porn? MDPMMWTDBGHABLAAASKT: Yeah, Laura, at a Civil War site. Nothing beats General Lee naked. Me: Well, his horse was named Traveler. or such claims as: "I'm light & refreshing. Today, *I'll* be your diet coke!" We ended up at her little hippie commune in Masschoweveryouspellit where she moonlights as a milkmaid. It was quite the experience as I got to overhear lots of things like, "Boy! I can feel those toxins!" and "See that boy over there? He graduate from Cornell with a degree in Engineering but now he's here and working on becoming a message therapist." and - from a girl contorted like a pretzel doing yoga - "I need some cranial work done badly." Sweetheart, do you ever. Oh the fun never ended! I took to naming the hippies like smurfs. Instead of Papa Smurf, there was Mama Hippie and even a Huggie Hippie who invited me to stay and read for poetry night. I also spent a night at a FISH HATCHERY in a national forest which was also a first. Plus,I went crazy with my IZONE (christmas present thanks to Daveylicious!) and took lots of pictures of my obsessions (1.bookshops: There was the one in the old Grist Mill in Farmington ConneticuohlikeIcanspellthisoneeither and then the Andover Bookstore which is the second oldest bookshop in the country and in a former barn. Oh it has the most beautiful brick fireplace in the middle of the store. *swoon* 2. Cute chubbylicious awkward dark haired boys: There were none.) AVARICE & GREED: Hubris said, "Hello." Or at least I'm hypothesizing that a hello to something sinister was the only thing that noise he made could be. If you're at all familiar with my posts (then you're familiar with the effects of chloroform. Sweet Dreams!), then you're probably bracing yourself for tales of Hubris stalling, overheating (I don't mind when friends smoke but when my car takes up the habit it gets personal), or opening his hood and devouring a small gaggle of annoying children. If you're not familiar with my posts, then let me introduce you to my car -nay my chariot, my steed, my knight in shining armour all - Hubris, whose motto is, "Laura, have you ever thought of public transportation or at least higher insurance rates?" We've been together for years now and very happy, except for the short time when he wouldn't talk to me after a boulder fell on him on a drive through Colorado. As if I *willed* it to happen or something. Well, now let me introduce you to Avarice - Av'ry for short. She's very prim and proper. And a bit like Kit in the fact that she has one of those CLICKY keys where from across a crowded parking lot i can just push the button to lock, unlock, beep the horn, pop the trunk, or run down the old lady who cut me off in traffic earlier. As they sit beside each other at night, Av'ry and Hubris pass notes to each other swapping strategies on how to best strand me in a moment of need. It's past 5:30 am and I have to be out the door for work in about an hour for my trek up an icy mountain road. I really shouldn't be torturing y'all for my bouts of insomnia but I'm all about sharing the love. (See! I did learn something from the hippies!) Forever yours, (or until supplies last) Laura "meeting all those Laura Llew needs since 1977" PS - Billzebub, I'm home safely :) PPS - Willzebub, I hope the date went well. I completely disapprove of Sexpot Sauer's statement of, "It's not a date if there's no snogging." No cute boys should be encouraged to be kissing if I'm not involved. PPPS - Oh I met up with another sinisterine and we went bowling too (see as I desperately try to seem like a cool kid). However, we're much less cut throat here. I won a game, he won a game, and then we moved on to plundering through old bookshops and record stores with glee. PPPPS - Maddie, I just read your post and your proposal. Now normally I don't consider any marriage proposal that doesn't at the *very least* involve fire, leatherclad midgets, and a mariachi band. However for a hot lesbian - poetry obsessed - salacious commenting filled - girl such as yourself I'm willing to at least spend one reckless night in Tijuana with you. I'm free next Sunday. PPPPPS - There was not even a reason to try and spell check this sucker *Also thanks to my own personal santas - Danny, Paul, Dahling, Billzebub, Jayward, Daveylicious, Brandt, Maddie, and someone else whose my forgetting will make me wake up in a start whenever I do eventually fall asleep. Y'all completely made my Christmas for which I was mostly unconscious for anyway. I must have gotten a blanket and a sweater as presents because I ended up under the former and using the latter as a pillow as I somehow fell asleep underneath the Christmas tree. Fortunately, no one mistook me for their present. (What you didn't asked for an exhausted clutzy absentminded girl this year? What is your problem?) _________________________________________________________________ MSN Photos is the easiest way to share and print your photos: http://photos.msn.com/support/worldwide.aspx +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+