Before getting down to the pressing matter of my missing willy, may I thank Trousers for another gripping piece of investigative journalism. Apparently I have no willy, but I have a balsawood dildo. I suppose you think that's funny, don't you McRagtag? Well, it isn't. Because it's true. I was seperated from my Man's Best Friend in a bizarre knob-chopping accident in the Canadian Redwoods, just after enjoying a spot of that thing they do where two blokes are on a floating log and they try to get the other one to fall in. I like that, it's a good sport, that is. To make matters worse, my friend Billy has a ten foot willy and he showed to the nextdoor neighbour. She thought it was a snake and hit it with a rake, and now it's only five foot four. No but serously, I have got a willy, albeit an unnaturally enormous great whopper. In fact, I'm writing this with both hands tied behind my back. That's my smut for the day. Sarah, you can find JO DUNNE on page 74 of the "November" edition of "Q" Magazine for Grown-ups. The other three are YOUR MATES in Preston. Tag said: Talking of endurance shagging (which I wasn't, but you lot were), Serge Gainsbourg, when asked if the sounds of carnal pleasure on "Je t'aime...moi non plus" were genuine, replied "Of course not, it's only a single. If it was real, it would be a long player". Yesterday I saw a 3 CD box set of Serge recordings, which was very nice, but it cost a bomb, about fifty quids of your english money, and also "L'Histoire de Melodie Nelson" for about eighteen of your english pounds quid. Seems a little unreasonable to me. Tonight I shall be helping to keep music live by going to see Mark Someone from the Screaming Trees and Mike Someone from Dinosaur Jr. I wish it was Murph, but it isn't. I've never heard any Screaming Trees or Mark Someone, so I don't know what to expect, so I've decided to expect country-tinged grunged up melodic rockers that betray the influence of Gram Parsons and The Lotus Eaters. In fact, I'm thinking of putting money on it. "What is the point," thought Alice, "of a petiton without any signatures on it?" Wouldn't it be better for each person to write a proper letter to the appropriate address? It's a bit more troublesome, but I think it would be more effective. Just a thought. Peter ------------------------------------------------------------ ------ Keywords: penis, marital aids, young people, Preston, folk-inflected, French pop, Come back Honey, Turkish football in Europe, ringpiece, ripped rectal lining, clitoral ejaculation, gay rights. ------------------------------------------------------------ ------ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list please mail "sinister@majordomo.net". To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to "majordomo@majordomo.net". For list archives and searching, list rules, FAQ, poor jokes etc, see http://www.majordomo.net/sinister +---+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" +---+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+