If two things look like coincidence, it's because they're related. If two things look similar, they must be the same. You go from
Caitlin Pigtails recently wrote about conspiracy theories: there. Coincidences are the times when you didn't spot half what's going on>>> Hmmm. Could it be a coincidence that she brings up conspiracy theories just as I have come up with the biggest frighteningest conspiracy theory ever? There has been a spate of discussion on the list lately about the twin cults of personality surrounding Ken Chu and Laura Llew. And although these phenomena are sinister (pun obviously intended, but I mean it in the real meaning of the word), I have detected a whiff of something far more diabolical than a mere skinny self-deprecating girl-fancying bloke riding on trains and hoping to pull while distributing self-aggrandizing badges, or a literary Dot Parker type gathering a fawning Sinister coterie of Algonquin Round Table stand-ins; no, this goes far deeper than mere self-absorption and brainwashing on an individual level. I have come up with a theory that explains why these two have captured so much common imagination, and I will advance this hypothesis in all CAPS just in case some people READING this are not really paying ATTENTION/are still in bed: CHU AND LLEW ARE THE SAME PERSON! I could here trot out an immense trove of evidence in support of this theory by culling the archives and taking things out of context, but I think that on some subconscious level you all know I am right. I mean, first and foremost, THE NAMES RHYME. Is this a coincidence? This is a rhetorical question. Rather than living in North Carolina, USA, or the south of England, this one, single, monomaniacal being probably has his/her/its headquarters in a hollowed-out volcano guarded by Guns N Roses roadies, and a propaganda staff of mind-numbed sneaky scurrilous southern get slaves slaving away beneath productivity-enhancing mottoes stenciled on the walls, like You know a girl whos tax free on her back and making plenty cash or You will be working in the morning and I wont be there to see you go off your head. This single-minded attempt to hijack our affection and primal need to worship some deity should be abhorred on all levels, and in fact some international judicial body should step in to break up this cult monopoly, not unlike the Microsoft case currently under consideration. But resistance to the tentacles of the Chu-Llew axis must first come at the grassroots level. Burn your Ken Chu badges on the fire of history today! Tear your Laura Llew poems from your tear-stained diaries! Save yourselves-- JDS Conectate a Internet GRATIS con Yahoo! Conexión: http://conexion.yahoo.com.ar +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+