Aaaghh! Fire! Is what we were not screaming when the fire alarm went off and Offbeat had to be evacuated for a wee while last night. And it was suspiciously soon after "Panic" had been on, ahem... "Burn down the disco, hang the blessed DJ..." Yup, after the first part seemed to come true Chris and Gill (the DJs) were looking suitably worried... Anyway, to unruffle the rankled, extra sweets were given out. There were not so many left, though, because I saw the friendly doorman cunningly sneak a few from the box. They were cherry lips, by the way. But Haribo ones (or Jaribo, as they say in Norway)*, not the ones famously known as "soap lips" etc, funnily enough due to the fact that they absolutely taste of nothing but soap. I mean, it's not like some people taste them and think, "No, I don't know where you're getting soap from, I think it's cherry" or "Not soap, maybe parma violets..." Everyone without fail says, "Eugh, soap!". Or in my case, "Mmm, soap. Imperial Leather? Pear? Lanolin-free?" Saw two people looking sinister, one of whom made me extremely jealous with their B&S concert and B&S meeting stories. (Hey, you know who you are!) The other I presume has finished exams, hope they went well! I had an exam yesterday too, I really don't know how it went but I decided that I would go to offbeat and forget about it. After all, there is so little difference between celebrating ones success and drowning ones sorrows... Oh, I got the next nine highly collectable "A-Z of Indie" stickers to put in my priceless album. Soon it will be ready to take pride of place above the rows and rows of leather-bound lexicons surrounding my living space. It will be worth more than a solid platinum record on sarah, mark my words. Welcome Peter Madden, whose tickets for Brixton Academy arrived this morning. (!!!) Do remember though, Peter, that when utilising the copy and paste facility on your computer, if there is a mistake in the original sentence it will appear in every extra copy ;-) That's all. Now think I shall go and have a little of that vintage carbolic I've been saving. Soapily yours (and don't read anything into that, be-smutters of the list ;-)) Tom P.S. Did you know that newspaper cleans windows really well? It does you know. P.S.S.*this isn't true. Well, it could be, what I mean is I made it up and it is unlikely to be true. But at the moment there are an extra two parallel universes, one in which is true and the in which it is not, opening up a big ol' Schrodingers** cat type mess. I don't think you spell Schrodinger like that, actually. Well, you might, what I mean is I don't know... P.S.S. Someone once explained that theory to me, and only when I understood it did she finally tell me that Schrodinger promptly went and proved his own theory wrong. But she started to explain it like this..."Think of this: if you had twenty monkeys on an unbreakable piano with an infinite amount of time, surely at some point they would play Beethoven's 5th?" I don't think so. Intelligent as they are, monkeys always feel compelled to use tools. +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+