Pigtails said: "Sending viruses to people isn't a nice thing to do". Thanks for pointing that out, Pigz. I'd better revise my Christmas list then. Llew in sentimentality shocker! Thank God she reassured us that it won't last. Compared to Ll, I'm positively Pollyanna. But then, I'm rather fond of you all too in my own special neglectful way. Llew also linked to a post I wrote last year, and I actually didn't cringe when I read it again. I remember that time: I was wildly excited at the world and my place in it and all the marvellous things I could reach out and grab (like leaves from a car window in the autumn, if you will). And I still feel 16, and I think I will forever. I asked my mum whether she feels her age, but she told me she still wakes up every morning, looks around her and thinks "How did I get *here?* I can't have children and a house and a marriage and a job! I'm only 22!" And I think I'll always be like that. The morning shock of realising that I have a mortgage and a job and will soon have a degree. I feel like I've fooled everyone. Tee hee, they think I'm grown up and sensible. Fooled them! But, jeepers, what happens when they find out that really I'm an idiot with nothing higher in my mind than hair dye and kissing? Yesterday night, in Birmingham, I regressed totally back to my 14 year old sulking depressive bedroom days, when I found myself crying at a Morrissey gig. I'd never seen the Great Man before, and I was so nervous I thought I would throw up. Instead, I just drank too much and babbled insanely. And then, and then, he was on the stage and singing the songs that has played endlessly in my head when I was younger and thought that life would always be crap and lonely and grey and I was there and watching him and oh. My. GOD. So I bawled like a girl at a Beatles gig, spontaneously proposed to my girlfriend (my offer drew a pat on the head and a "yes, it is rather emotional isn't it, dear?" look from her. A No, then, I'm guessing), and wished technology was advanced enough that my eyes were both eyes and a camcorder. It was fantasique with a capital Q. And I still fancy Morrissey even though he, accorded to the girlfriend, looks "like a hunchback. See, his shoulders are all squished with his neck. He's scaring me!" Piffle. He's everything that's right about a man. The fact that he was far away and will never meet me only enhance his perfection. I never Reported Back from Tigermilking, at the beginning of the month. Well, it was wonderful night with dancing and smooching and drunken japes. I was neither a smoocher nor a smoochee (I wonder how one differentiates....) but I did spend some time gasping "Goodness! Those two! How sweet..." All the DJs were great, I showed myself up by not knowing who the Moldy Peaches are, but I will soon as they are playing here - or at least, the flyer reads "Kimya and Toby (Moldy Peaches)". Is this the whole band or a few of them or what? If anyone fancies coming to Leicester, it's on Sunday 17th November, let me know off list and we can meet for a drink or something or at least offer directions. I'd like to be able to offer places to stay, but I'm afraid I'll have a full house that night. (Keep Feeling) Fascination Madeleine _________________________________________________________________ Surf the Web without missing calls! Get MSN Broadband. http://resourcecenter.msn.com/access/plans/freeactivation.asp +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+