Dear all, I just had a flash of inspiration for a French promo-vid for Dirty Dream #69. Obviously being French, the label would be expecting (and clearly the band) some sort of filth for the masses to toss off to. I think it would be much cleverer to give them something unmistakebly British, and in keeping with the style of the song....A "Confessions" video. Keith Watson would be perfect for the Robin Asquith role, but I think given the circumstances, we could have Johnboy Warrender as a window-cleaner, trying to find the Dukes house, working his way up the road. Perhaps in one window, Mad Dog with some gorgeous lass, but unable to remove his silver pants. In window two Isobel playing the cello in the buff, her naughty bits hidden by her instrument of doom. In window three Ragbag McTag who wants to be Stuart D, derobing in front of wee Karn only for the real Stuart D to return home from a hard day at the office, and pursuing the blighter round the bedroom. In window four wee hairy Chris is having a game of pocket billiards while admiring his stolen sidies in the mirror. In window five Linda is giving Honey the brush-off because Bobby Chariots on the telly. In window six there is noone there but the window cleaner turns round to see David and Katrina playing nude swingball in the garden. etc etc etc. mmmmmmmmmmmm...I was never any good at endings. Just for laughs.... A transcript of the new answering service installed at the Mental health institute. "Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline...... * If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. * If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you. * If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6. * If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call. * If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mother ship. * If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press. * If you are a manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no-one will answer. * If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969. * If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the hash key until a representative comes on the line. * If you have amnesia press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number and your mother's maiden name. * If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 000. * If you have bi-polar disorder, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep. Or after the beep. Please wait for the beep. * If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. * If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. * If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. * If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. * If you have low self esteem. Please hang up. All our operators are too busy to talk to you. Thankyou and goodnight. Adrian.x. +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list please mail "sinister@majordomo.net". To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to "majordomo@majordomo.net". For list archives and searching, list rules, FAQ, poor jokes etc, see http://www.majordomo.net/sinister +---+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" +---+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+