12/3/2001 9:58 p.m. and I'm writing a professor begging to make up a grade. You'd think a 21 year-old in her fourth year of college would have learned to grow up by now and quit procrastinating and well, get on the horse. And get it done. But--as I creep toward my septic thirties, I find myself scuttling toward the antithesis of what I am supposed to me doing--that being, taking care of business, scheduling appointments, doing my taxes on time, cleaning up after myself--the truth is, I am far from that. I am a messy little beetle who couldn't save herself to save herself (props to the Lucksmiths for that one). Here's a catalogue of my growing immaturity. ITEM A00985-- TOTALLY FULL OF SHIT Here we have what we call a pretentious tone of voice and propped posture, a cigarette balanced between a claw-like hand, and a confident rolling voice. Underneath her own skin, the petitioner is very much creeped out by the completely full-of-shit tone of voice she has--everything the defendant says, the petitioner accidentally mocks, accidentally rolling her eyes--and my god, it's like someone else is talking for her. See; what it comes down to is that I am the most full of shit person I've ever met. I am just absolutely always blowing smoke. Count on me to completely embellish something. Whenever I am conversing with someone I do not know very well my mind just wriggles at the lameness that escapes from my mouth; how I can manage to sound soooo pretentious and yet, completely self-deprecating at the same time. I'm a daft ho-bag. ITEM Z-56UT A GIMMICK I seem to always be involving myself with something gimmicky. Three months ago I decided I wanted Ice Cube to be my favorite actor. It wasn't like anything really drove me to a point where I thought he was a really great guy, or even that he had really great hair, but I just liked the idea of it all. Ice Cube. Whose favorite actor is Ice Cube? Nobody. A week ago I decided that I should like Duran Duran. Like, be Duran Duran crazy--have my handbag covered in Duran Duran badges, talk constantly about the genius of Simon LeBon, have a room peppered in Duran Duran memorabilia. For the same reasons as Ice Cube, there was no real motivation for behind this gimmick, so it failed before it even began. ITEM 45re4480 TOTALLY FEEL SORRY FOR ME My life is really boring and uneventful, but oftentimes I totally feel sorry for myself. I just wail on my bed and cry about the days when I was goth. There is oh-so-much more.. to be continued. Side-stepping, Mandee m a y +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+