When you are worrying about something it is quite difficult to think about anything except what you are worrying about. And that's a pity because if you could stop thinking about it for a little while little while things wouldn't seem quite so bad. If you could just stop for a little while and start thinking about things like orange moons or pink skies things would be infinitely better. But when you are worrying your mind goes round in circles returning to that nasty something lurking just under the surface. Even when you aren't directly thinking about the thing you are worrying about you can feel its presence somewhere in the pit of your stomach. So you keep your teeth clenched and head down and hope that it won't find you just yet. Little things become big things. Big things become even bigger. Tonight I'm worrying All I want right now is to be with someone. Safe within their arms and for them to tell me things will be okay. But that isn't going to happen tonight. Instead I let my dog sit next to me and I pat her head and tell her things will be alright. After a while I start to believe it too. But it isn't easy being reassuring on your own so I enter someone else's world for a little while. I put on a CD. Maybe the red one. I listen to someone else's voice. I let the music carry me through me. I let the music make me feel less alone. I concentrate hard to distract my mind from the path it has become determined to follow. Gradually I relax and I find myself trying a little less. I am swept up in the songs. These are songs I have taken with me from place to place and return I have found them taking me to places. These songs have protected me from things that I fear by becoming my friends and holding my hand at the bus stop, or infiltrating my speech, gently reassuring me, in even the most difficult circumstances. Tonight they don't take away the worry, or even the loneliness, but they make me happier. Take Care and !viva rachels! Rachel (sunnyside up) _________________________________________________________________ Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com/intl.asp +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+