You know the exorcist? That's the second best film ever, that is. The best film ever, as everyone even remotely twee knows, is 'Edward Scissorhands'. Today after school Tony Meyer, a pathetic acned hanger-on to the faux-mod clique that I admire from the safe distance of the Greg-and-Faye clique, asked me if I was going to Westminster station to go home, knowing I was, forcing me to talk to him. Which on, the one hand sucked, but on the other hand made me feel popular. Anyway, he denied Edward Scissorhands was the best film ever. So I spat in his face. Heh, JenOWL and I, the twee hard kids. I doubt many people will like this post. Oh well. I just want to be Sinistrated, mummy! Are any Sinis in Tunisia on the first week of Easter? Thought not. That's just me and my mum and her boyfriend then. In a French speaking country, with them pretty much leaving me alone... my French isn't bad, but I can't stand not being understood, so I doubt I'll talk to anyone. And I'm glad, because what I am going to do is, I am going to practise tennis for about six hours a day. I am going to stand outside, in this blistering heat, hitting serves to no-one, sweat forming a river in my socks, a river with little fish and cabbages and things in. Perhaps the fish will be eating the cabbages. Or perhaps the cabbages will be eating the fish. Certainly, I will be hallucinating. And I do this to see if can get really, properly good, or whether I hit a plateau... I love tennis so much. I really do. For the fist time in my life, I am going to really apply myself to something. I never have, honestly, not even my GCSEs and things... this could matter. We'll see. A few weeks ago I found out that Matthew Brown had found my Sini posts in a search engine and read them. So, hopefully he'll read this: Matthew Brown, you are rather ugly. Not grotesque, and I am trying to keep everything I say about you reasonable, so you'll know this is what I actually think, but nonetheless, far from attractive. More to the point (well, alright less to the point for someone as utterly shallow as I've decided to be, but maybe more to the point for the rest of Sini), you are extremely, extremely irritating. You know that human beatbox routine you do in Further Maths lessons, you objectionable attention seeker (at least I'm a subtle attention-seeker with decent dress-sense)? I hate those. I hate the zaniness and "wacky" geekhumour that you stand for, and the virginial neverpulled misogyny that goes with it. Not that I'm never mysogynistic, but at least I'm funny when I am, and have the motive of trying to be liked. I hate the way you mention in every Further Maths lesson that you're not really a maths person because you also do History of Art and Physic A-Levels too, like you're somehow better than us all... so quit, you phony. If I knew I wouldn't get caught, I'd actually kill you. Never mind the guilt and the squeemishness and the grieving relations and friends, I can turn those off, out of my mind. I really can. I'm more evil than any of you lot realise. No, really. Seriously. That's also true of the following people right now: Alex Bradford, Daisy Collins, Gigi Florentin-Lee and James Furlong. So far as I know, none of these people know I even dislike them, nor do I have any real reason to. I'm actually rather afraid that I'm going mad up here. I think I need to fall in love, soon. Sorry. I suspect that was rather unpleasant to read. I'll be twee again now. Not as twee as Jumble Sailing by Clearlake, though. That's, like "whoa! Total tweeness, dude!". Mmyup. Here is something twee: tomorrow I am going to get to get to Westminster station early, so that I can wait on the steps for a girl to arrive, so I can walk her to school, and pretend it was a coincidence. Why are hippy boys always quite unwashed-seeming and hippy girls always rather nice and well-groomed? Discuss. Who was the Sini who'd bought 'House of Leaves'? I have just bought 'House of Leaves'. It looks so damn nice, it can be crap for all I care. Ken is my hero. His Stan posts really actually were the highlight of human creation. I laughed non-stop, for, like, 20 minutes. Genius. As good as Gorillaz. Better than Wheatus. Not quite as good as Robbie, yes, but so what? Top stuff. Tired. Greg +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+