I used to be scared of speaking in front of people. Then, when I was fourteen, I found myself elected class representative and had to attend meetings in the technology block with the other representitives and the head of year. We'd talk about stuff - skirt lengths, cigarettes, communal showers, all the sweaty pink obsessions of teenage playgrounds. Then came the meeting when I was to be secretary, and I was feeling a little nervous. I had a bit of a cold and I'd thought of staying at home, but I'd missed Doctor Who to write up notes the night before so I scuffed my toes up to the school gates. My agenda was spot on, and mostly centred on the lack of dustbins and lack of cherry coca-cola in the drinks machine. But I was dead nervous, and as I read it out, I trembled. I finished Item One with no problems. "Any questions?" I asked. But there was silence. As I looked up to our head of year, a territorial with a moustache to match, I could sense something was a little wrong. I sniffed. I sniffed a little harder. But the big bogey that had snuck out of my nose just hung there, bouncing a little. I shut my eyes, and for a moment the room completely disappeared. When I opened them, bogey still in mid-air, all my nerves had vanished. The looks of horror on the faces all around me seemed to have absorbed it. The head of year's moustache wilted. I carried on with Item Two, and no one said a thing. I had another meeting today, ten years later. Things like that don't phase me anymore. Once you've hit rock bottom the only way is up. I think it was about something important, but I wasn't really paying attention. I was more interested in the sprinkling of Christmas jumpers my colleagues were wearing, and the crumbs in the chairman's moustache. Some things never change. Some people looked at their fingers, some at the ceiling, some at their shoes. Then a magpie flapped onto the windowsill outside and for a brief moment everyone looked in the same direction. +++ Have you all been reading Stuart's Diary recently? It's pretty great. He's letting it all come out. It sort of makes me want to follow Jesus, but I wouldn't know where to go. I gave up on Jesus when I was seventeen and started following pop music. Perhaps that's where it all went wrong. It's also good to read about someone who's given up the booze. I've given it up for one of my many New Year's Resolutions. Not that that's a major event, as I don't really drink much anyway. I'm only giving it up for a month, too. I'll be having different resolutions every month, and I'm going to be Zen about it: giving up the negative; taking up the positive. January: drink less alcohol; eat more spinach. February: don't watch telly; grow a beard. That's the idea. If you haven't read his diary, you should have a look. If you're a fan of Rhoda, too (Casarotto take note), you might be in for a treat... I'm sure the Red Bull Dozers are already limbering up. B+S are on the radio on Friday, as well. I'm sure banchory will send out an email about all of this, anyway, but just for the record have a look at: http://worldcafe.org/comingup.php . hejdå, Robin x _________________________________________________________________ Express yourself with cool new emoticons http://www.msn.co.uk/specials/myemo +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+