well? do i have a sign on my back saying 'weirdoes walk this way'? what is it with me and london? i mean, the city is tops, but all these crazy folk that come up and start talking to me... i was on the bus on the way to the allotment today, dreaming about picking zuchinni flowers and shallow frying them in light olive oil, before adding them to my freshly prepared cep tortillini, when a bloke with a quiff the size of egypt (i've always associated quiffs and egypt - not sure why) and a big bad badge saying 'IRA' came up and sat next to me on the bus, with his matching anorak, shirt, trousers and shoes. i moved up (as one does) and he seemed to ignore the free seat i'd offered him and squeezed up as tight to me as he could. i ignored him. then he looked at me in a very pointed way, and coughed. in my ear. at point blank range. very loudly. four times. well, this was a bit much, so i squeezed further into the corner in order to get away from this obviously deranged creature. but did this work? oh no. he then proceeded to turn his head and try to read what it said on the front of my jumper, out loud in an amplified voice. at least, that's what i assume he was doing - the writing's in japanese, and so i must confess i have troubles reading it myself. but he wasn't deterred, oh no. in the end i got off five stops before my one, and walked the rest of the way to the allotment - better that than him ask me what i thought of the IRA, hear my allegedly posh accent and beat the shit out of me. actually, i think i get posh-bashed even more than i get queer-bashed... seeing as i'm not really either of the two i suppose it's quite funny. but not in a haha way. it reminded me of the time i was on the tube to heathrow, and in a hurry, and a bloke with a chestlength beard and handlebar moustache, sporting a superman t-shirt (you know, the tight fitting ones that make you look like superman, oh yes they do), a luminous green baseball cap (backwards) with 'NY' emblasoned across it and a pair of skintight red lycra shorts (and nothing underneath), oh and some jesus sandals came up to me on the tube and said (i quote) 'you know when the funny thing is and some people don't like it and there was one time where the man tried to kiss me and i said "no that's not it you don't understand" and the beautiful ladies they sometimes say yes but sometimes they don't and can i sit on your lap?' to which i replied, 'no, i hurt it playing football'. which was quite a good answer, i suppose. maybe it was lee 'scratch' perry... was anyone else confused by all that portuguese yesterday? the only thing i could work out was that it was all about god and was quoting from the bible a lot... or i think so. it might just have been a recipe for cabbage and potato soup. does the lovely posh-party envying arantxa happen to speak portuguese as well as spanish? or anyone? because it'd be nice to know what it all meant. anyway, that's about it for the moment. i'll see you all tomorrow at the betsy trotwood. i'll be the one having my face eaten :) love Marcus XXX +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the reborn Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail "sinister@majordomo.net". To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to "majordomo@majordomo.net". WWW: http://www.majordomo.net/sinister +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "tech-heads and students" +-+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +-+ "jelly-filled danishes" +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+