Cordially Convivial Sinister, When I was fifteen I was taught English at school by a *famous* England cricket of the 1980s. Remember him? No, me neither. Anyway, he put me off doing English for the rest of my life. He suggested to me that I elongated my sentences using overly wordy syntax, punctuated by polysyllabic prose and that i rambled constantly, verbosely and over-stylistically. I just couldnt see where he was coming from. And so here I am at the tweeest [does tweeest have three e's? thats kerazeee, that is. It cant be a word. it should be] university, studying something im not really all that passionate about. Its a shame really. So kids, mothers, goldfish and grand-daughters, if I were to offer advice to you, it would be dont listen to your English teacher when he gives you 6 out of 25 for your coursework, look above the fact that he reads your worst efforts out to the class, and then reads the heroic efforts of your friends out. Follow your heart. Sometimes I wish I had done more. But then again, I still love reading. Nay, years ago I wouldnt read much. I think this was because there was always a stigma attached to reading. Like the stigma that's attached to having dog-poo on your shoe at school. I can recall the time I was 11 and my so-called-friend's mum said that I was bright cos I read books, and I tried to palm it off to the friend by saying "Yeh, well, you know, just football magazines and stuff. Not books." The time soon came for change, however, and its a testament to an evolving youth-hood that said *friend* is now more of a fiend. In fact, when I now see the people I lumbered myself in with all those years ago, my bowels turn to water and my fingers and ears start to pop. It gives me a funny feeling when I see these 11 year olds walking round in threes in York at Clifton Moor [coined 'ScallyMore'], a shopping mall of the insipid variety, wearing illumious 'Tommy Hilfinger' shirts and drinking cans of Tizer that seem to double as hair-styling products for their military mop-top. And I wonder, was that me!? These little specimens actually scare me. Thank god I wasnt alone. University, its a funny breeed. Continuing from my last list abuse post, about the bores I cohabite with, the problem has sort of escalated into some monstrous epidemic. I avoid the kitchen because these people occupy it. One person in particular, actually, really makes me want to say to him "Tonight Matthew, I'm going to be Ed Gein!" and scare the bejeezers out of him. Though I feel he wouldnt notice much, he saw Michael Moore's book in my room one day and said 'Intelligent book, Chris!' in that benignly sarcastic tone that says 'Ah yes, it says Stupid White Men on the cover. It must be for stupid white men! I'm so clever! Now who wants to play 52 card pick-up with me?' If there was a film adaptation of a book called 'How to Lose Friends and Alienate People', he'd be the best male. The march in London went well. I heard about a placard later that said 'Peace takes Courage. War takes Lives' and i thought, 'My, that's just lovely, that is.' Much of the walking part of the march was spent thinking 'Christ almighty, please let there be a McDonald's round the corner so i can make a bee-line for the men's!!' which is sort of strange, in a demonstration against the evils of America, for me to be actually wanting to see the logo of corporate America round the corner, and a friendly Londoner to say 'Do you want Carex with that?' The Golden Arch, it's art you know. At this point i would like to be flighty and say a big "Good morning! And in case I don't see you: good afternoon, good evening and good night!" to all members of the YSM as well as to Stout Robin, i thought i'd lost you there for a minute. Ps hello to Gillian from Manchester, where's my stonking reply!!? Interpol 'Turn on the Bright Lights' is ace. I bought 'extended play' by Goldrush as well, the packaging looked nice, but upon hearing i'm gonna take it back. 'Murmur', prehaps instead. Mùm hasn't arrived yet, `( Look after the kittens while i'm gone, Christopher xx Angela Hayes: Yeah? Well at least I'm not ugly! Ricky Fitts: Yes you are, and your boring and totally ordinary and you know it. +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+