Only started happening a few days ago. First I thought perhaps I've just become fixed in a find of "got-pissed-quite-bad-last-night" sort of peacefull daze, then I've been sitting around in perfectly normal places and having these brightly coloured moments where a smile spreads over, not from feeling I should but that there is genuine hope that my dreams WILL happen if I push hard enough, as this is not always something controled by us, and from realising my world is actually quite as beautiful as I tell myself. I knew that all along of course and was very grateful, it was just very hard to see and enjoy. My sister and I had a conversation and she clearly could see how delicate a situation it is to enjoy this as I've no idea how long I'll be above the clouds this time. Delftware sky and melted tar on the roads. Summertime that I always think of on down days could happen soon and against all good(village folk) advise, I will be in London as of next month. I'm thinking that I'll have so many people around me and be unable to have empty months again, I barely think I'll have an empty moment, look!I'm smiling up to my eyes again. I've even managed to shake off a silly concern I've had. It's of writing with blue ink and is a very awkward thing have worrying you. I think I can say it: I'm getting over the empty feeling and over the lonely one too, think I could let stuff touch me again. I also think I could really love someone too. That should be nice. No, actually that would be the best thing ever. James Danson-Hatcher _________________________________________________________________ MSN Photos is the easiest way to share and print your photos: http://photos.msn.com/support/worldwide.aspx +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+