Well, well, well. When I was younger, I used to wonder what it would be like to be all grown-up. I didn't realise, back then, that I'd never find out. I still feel like a small child inside. I don't think this is ever going to change. I still love to bounce around the house to loud music, and smirk at childish jokes. Eight years ago, nearly, I was sitting in the computer lab on the fourth floor of the University Library, with my then-current sexfriend, searching the web for stuff on Belle & Sebastian. I found a recently-started mailing list, run from elsewhere in the university. I joined it. I didn't stay on it continuously, but I've always come back again. Sinister has meant a lot to me, and so has #sinister. It was somewhere to retreat to when the said sexfriend turned into a mad harridan who hated "that awful twee music". It was somewhere to find friends, even if I was the only list member who wasn't at it like rabbits at one point or another. Even though it doesn't feel like it, I *have* been through a lot of changes in my life, and many of them are catalogued in Sinister posts. I've been back through some of those changes and undone them; but I'm still a member of Sinister and I still read it. My life will change in the future in ways I can't even predict; and maybe that will be catalogued on Sinister in the future too. Right now, I know a lot of Sinisterines are meeting up, drinking, celebrating and mourning. And long may they continue to do so. I'm not - I'm sat at home listening to Stereolab, trying to sort out the design of my new blog and keeping half an eye on #sinister. It's the first time I've been to #sinister for maybe a year or so, but somehow it still feels as homely as it always did. I'm trying to explain there what's going on in my life at the moment: Random conversations in the street, and getting back in touch with people I've known even longer than *you*. And I realise that as I'm typing, I'm quietly smiling. We used to have the List Crush system. Well, I've got a crush on the entire list. All of you, for all of the past eight years. You've done something wonderful along the way. xx fp http://www.symbolicforest.com/ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+