So, 29th of February it is. My watch thinks it's March already. That's what happens when you go to Argos, kids! Apparently some 13th century queen dictated that on this day, gurls can ask boyz to marry them and if they refuse, they incur a hy-uge fine. Sounds like a great way to get even with your worst enemy - he either ends up substantially out of pocket, or you can inflict a lifetime of misery upon him, hopefully with the help of a heavy-bottomed frying pan. I'm definitely having a heavy-bottomed frying pan in my B&B - I can cook my famous breakfasts in it and use it to deter guests from fighting over the remote control in the lounge at the same time. Well, maybe not at the same time - hot fat's the devil to get out of long-pile carpets and it doesn't half pong. Velocity said:
as I'm really considering marriage with a certain person, I think we should forget our honeymoon in Vegas and go to Lucy's Bed & Breakfast instead... what do you think love? I'd like to say that it would be an honour. I can't promise you high kicking cabaret artists or glitzy gambling dens (although I'm sure plenty sinisterines could demonstrate their high kicking technique after a bottle or two of Babycham and the pub will doubtless have a one-armed bandit), but I can promise you your own teasmade, two packets of shortbread fingers and, if you decide to fork out an extra tenner, an ensuite bathroom. Otherwise, you'll have to wrap yourselves in towels and tiptoe down the corridor.
What I'd like to know is who's going to do the dodgy jobs in the village? Who's going to collect our rubbish? Clear out the blocked U-bend? Go down manholes to monitor the sewerage system? Feed the pigs? Scoop up the dog pooh on the pavements? There's been far to much luvvie-duvvie crap on the list lately - it doesn't feel natural. Go on, nominate your worst enemy to clear up the dogshite, I dare you. Juicy Lucy *What do you think of my Kelis impression then? Not bad, eh? I've been practising. Yes. This communication contains information which is confidential and may also be privileged. It is for the exclusive use of the intended recipient(s). If you are not the intended recipient(s), please note that any distribution, copying or use of this communication or the information in it is strictly prohibited. If you have received this communication in error, please notify the sender immediately and then destroy any copies of it. -- MCI WorldCom Year 2000 information http://www.wcom.co.uk/2000 +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the undead Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "tech-heads and students" +-+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+