You talkin' to me, Sinister? Ah, well, good- Hiya everybody! It's me again, back by unpopular demand. Me, being Christopher James, sometimes called Chris F, le Christophe, sometimes called 'you can turn that off for starters.' And the reason he is not cjf111 today is parce que i am on holyday, for close to six weeks, they call it a revision break, i call it a waste of taxpayer's money, hehehe. Today for example, my 'revision' included sweeping the carport and then going to the library and renting three cds for two weeks for two pounds in total. Rental purchases included the Von Bondies, Beck and Ben & Jason. These purchases [and the sweeping....and the posting] make me feel like i've had a productive day full of toil and trouble. The trouble involved counting the scallies in town [Stourbridge, by the by, that's where i live, if not in York. in the archives there is but one mention of Stourbridge. I say more Stourbridging is needed people] However, i soon realised that this hobby (counting scallies) should best not be undertaken whilst driving, i posed a veritable liability, what with the throbbing number-crunching in my poor head and the traffic queues of revvin' Kevins, pushing down on their gas pedals menacingly... .....Today in the library i surfed my way to the realisation that there is a meeting! in London! in April! Now, i would dearly like to go to this two day extravaganza of nicety, yet in the pits of my loins i have a nagging doubt. It's hard to pinpoint why this doubt exists- shyness? Oh, not so hard to pinpoint, after all. So yes, i have some naggin' goin' down in the 'hood. This nagging consists of being frankly scared out of my wits over the fame and celebrity that encircles certain Sinistereens...i mean, Ken Chu? Archel? who are these people? They are in my sea-coloured eyes celebrities, untouchables. And me, just a small dot on the horizon of twee. Aforementioned folk are to me the monopolisers of twee, the corporate giants, and so on and so on. And the nagging persists- it says unto me 'But monsignor Chris, these people won't care or even notice your existence if you take your little self along to London in April weekend. Cos they are *famous* and already too fawned over and curled up into their quarter circle niche markets of quarantined dominance to accept any newbies.' Yes, my nagging was never too cogent. So, what, am i wong? I sincerely hope to be proved so. Surely something as simple and natural as going along to a meet-up of people with a passion and introducing oneself and sitting down and bowling [hmm, both at once?] and conversing casually with like-minded folkies is too improbable a task. But then why should it be improbable? 'It isn't, it isn't!' i can hear most of you tut under your collective breath. Is it my negative outlook that i always expect there to be rain when it is sunny, that i always expect my toast to land butter side down, that i expect there to be some exposed label on the reverse of my jacket if i haven't first checked, that if i think im going to trip over, i invariably do..... Is this outlook catalysing the nagging? the shyness? Am i alone in having these 'fears'? i mean, why, they aren't even proper FEARS, not like a fear of death or destruction, or the fear of biting into an apple and finding a razorblade. They are proper FeArS. Hell, apparantely there's a war on! But to me it IS a fear, and i was wondering if other relative newbie Sinistereens did have a comparable 'fear'. If so, we could maybe start a group, 'FearSoc' or something: 'not for the faint-hearted'. Tho i think id be too scared to go. So, must stop starting paragraphs with 'so', makes you sound unsure. So, what now, i guess i am hoping for someone to take me by the clammy hand and say 'It's alright to be slightly nervous, it's a big thing, one's first meet-up, but relax, everyone's scared to some extent, they just don't show it....' and i think this would cheer me up no end. In such an event i may conduct tests to prove that my toast lands butter side up....'revision' is an abstract thing, you see. Thanks for getting so far Le Christophe James F xx ................................................... "Without you, today's emotions would be the scurf of yesterday's" __________________________________________________ Do you Yahoo!? Yahoo! Platinum - Watch CBS' NCAA March Madness, live on your desktop! http://platinum.yahoo.com +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. 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