Friends, Sinisters, Countrymen, Lend me your Ears: Miss Laura Llew pondered: " Will the two proposed picnics merge into one HUGE prospectful picniciking force or will there be a battle of the picnics - complete with food flinging and ant cheerleaders? If there's a fight, then I'm siding with Eric and Jay's picnic. They might be gay and might not know how to fight but at least all battle plans will be executed with style. Actually, I take that back. I hear GayJay wields a pretty mean foil. Personally, I just want an opportunity to yell, "Parry his flank!" in public. Heaven knows that my life already suffers seriously from absence of blade as it is." I think we all know the answer to this. OF COURSE there will be a huge fight. More-vicious-than-two-girls-with-chips-on-their-shoulders-and-long-fingernails-to-boot-type Big. And as no one else is signing up to do it, I nominate myself El Supremo Generalissimo of the Sinister forces. As I see it, we will muster at dawn. We will arrange are forces thusly *marks in the ground with his patented pointing stick* Our pikemen here in four rows at the front, and flanking them behind on each side, the shot. I recommend matchlock harqebuses, as they are dependable in battle, unlike these new-fangled muskets and flint lock rifle. Behind the pikes, arranged in several rows, the Infantrymen, and behind these our mounted men. We strike at dawn, moving to take over their Picnique encampment. I'll have some rousing speech ready. Something noble, "... that on this day of St Picnic Piciannic, we shall all stand a tip-toe and rouse ourselves at the name of Sinister!" And then we will all charge into battle under the cry "Cry God for Honey, England and St Geroge!" Of course, there will be some resistance. When a few men fall back, I'll have another speech all ready to go: "Once more into the Breech dear friends, once more into the Breech or fill up all the walls with Our Sinister dead!" Since god is obviously on our side, we shall win. I will be humble, allowing hymns like the Te Deum and Laudamus be sung, but will gentle remind you that France is now ours. We will split all the booty, Tuna Sandwiches and such and drink Diet Coke well spik'd with Rum. We shall have mirthsomeful tidings of dancing and music. We may even let theh Bowlie join in. Oh yes, it shall be swell. And I will marry me the Bowlie princess and everything will be swell till that French bitch Joan of Arc fights back and my kid gets killed. Oh. Wait. I'm confusing myself with Henry V again. Dammit. Man. Well anyway, I recommend beatin' some Bowlie. GayJay -- "The Posby falls into a Trance In which it does a little Dance." Edward Gorey _________________________________________________________________ MSN 8 with e-mail virus protection service: 2 months FREE* http://join.msn.com/?page=features/virus +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+