sinister, i've just seen my exam marks. i knew they were bad before i looked at the noticeboard, but seeing them in black and white just hit home. even the courses i didn't do too badly on were worse then i'd hoped. if only i'd had the guts to change courses in the first year, instead of thinking i could stick it out and everything would be fine. well now i've wasted nearly three years and will have very little to show for it. the worst part is that at university no-one cares. there's no-one i can run to who'll understand and try to help me to do better in the summer. i just ran out of my last class on the verge of tears and nobody even batted an eyelid. and i'm going to have to tell my mum. its not that she'll be angry with me, she'll just be disappointed, even more disappointed than i am probably. i always joke with her that i'm the reject child now because my little brother started doing maths at cambridge this year, but i know that's what she thinks. all the way through school i was brighter than him, but now i'm just not interested, i've had enough of formal study but i've come too far to turn back now. jesus, i don't even like university. i don't have any friends among the students, everyone i hang out with i've met outside. i just can't imagine what possessed me. i'm really sorry sinistereenies, its forever since i used the list as a place to spill my problems, but i don't feel like i've got anywhere to turn right now. love and lollipops, fiona. +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+