Congratulations to all the lucky "Insult Tim Hopkins" prize winners. Many would say that being invited to insult young Tim is a reward in itself, but I hope you all enjoy your hard won booty (in the UK meaning of the word - but please feel free to partake in US booty as well). It fills me with a sense of enormous wellbeing to be part of such a foul mouthed collective. Will the prize winning and/or most filthy entries ever be released to the general public ?. I hope so but I'd imagine the temptation to keep them hush-hush and slowly work them into day to day conversation must be great, in which case the next person to knock the Hopkins' pint is in for an aural treat of no small measure. I got handed an extensive Health & Safety manual at work today. Most of it was quite reasonable but at times it did get a little weird. Under the "Safety with Office Products" section there was some advice on how to avoid papercuts*, apparently it's wise to "avoid running your fingers along the edge of pages" and "don't hold paper to close to your face". I feel the world's a much safer place now, other handy hints warned of the dangers of falling off your chair and how to avoid walking into things such as doors and other people.... the key to this is keeping your speed down and not reading and walking at the same time. I suspect the manual was written by the same person who felt it necessary to include the instructions "Open Packet, Eat Contents" on packets of airline peanuts. Also today saw the official launch of my new game "Star's on Your Tube". It's very much like "Stars in Their Eyes" except it takes place on public transport and there's no singing involved, thus avoiding messy copyright lawsuits. In fact the only qualifying criteria is that the (unwitting) contestants must vaguely look like someone well known. It probably says a lot about my state of mind first thing in the morning but in today's heats "MP Robin Cook" and "Annie Lennox" were narrowly beaten by "The old swimming bloke off the Guinness adverts". I guess you had to be there. Did anyone else see the "Milli Vanilli: Behind the Music" program on VH1 a few days ago ?. It was great and they both came across as being decent people who got sucked in by a manipulative manger, they even tried to quit and do their own songs on a few occasions. From a purely voyeuristic point of view the highlight was undoubtedly footage of that faithful concert where their backing tape skipped and they were exposed as frauds, to be fair the tape did loop at quite a good moment and had they remained onstage rather than running off in a blind panic they could've reached a whole new hardcore rap audience. Anyway the surviving 'Vanilli' is now a folk type singer in LA and given B&S's habit of adding a new member each record, Fabrice's call up can't be too far away. I've darkened your doorsteps enough today, must dash !. Craig x * not Stevie Trousers' publication, obviously. +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the reborn Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail "sinister@majordomo.net". To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to "majordomo@majordomo.net". WWW: http://www.majordomo.net/sinister +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "tech-heads and students" +-+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +-+ "jelly-filled danishes" +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+