Hello! I've just got back from Mr Peacock Johnson's Edinburgh book-signing session, which was a Good Thing because it featured Free Wine! Yay! More of that below, though. I know I like to rant, sometimes, about the library I work in, and how annoying the stupid bloody readers are. However, today I just want to say that there was *one* student in our library today who evidently does have good taste, because she was wearing an If You're Feeling Sinister t-shirt. I filled up the photocopier with paper for her, and she was very reasonable and didn't ask stupid questions about where books were or anything. So, if you were in Edinburgh University library this lunchtime, and got some boy to put some more paper in the Reserve Room photocopier, then, um, hello. It was me. Jonathan someone said that sinister people should wear a badge or something to distinguish themselves. Um, I already do some of the time. It has a picture of me on it, so you can see who I am. Anyway, as I said, I've just come back from Peacock Johnson's Edinburgh book-signing /stroke/ stage-play, or whatever it's meant to be; held in a small heating-duct somewhere under Princes St. I'm not going to describe it all in detail -- surely that should be ListMummy's job? -- but I do want to mention the gaggle of old wives that were sat just in front of me. Evidently, they go to all these book-signing events whoever is supposed to be at the front, and they were all a bit puzzled when a bookstore minion came in to explain that Stuart himself couldn't be with us tonight due to "controversy", but he had sent in a video. "Shocking!" muttered the old women (who had very hairy chins) at Stuart's explanation. "Grr! Mm-mm-mm!" they grumbled at his tale of being-forced-into-hiding. They read closely the small-print on the bookshop leaflets ... "It does *say* Stuart David!" The fact that we could hardly hear the video probably didn't help. Ooh, they *were* shocked when Peacock came onstage and started swearing all over the place. "There's far too many tits here" said one, when Peacock called Mr David "titlicker" for the 798th time. Their jaws dropped open at the word "cunt". They giggled approvingly at Peacock's wee wifey when she poked him and complained at his language. When she started reading out a passage from the book, they were in stitches; and by the end of the performance, they though every single "tit" was hilarious. I don't think they bought the book, though. I also don't know if they noticed that the one time Mr Johnson didn't insist in mumbling into a microphone to speak, his voice sounded strangely like that of Mr David on the video. What a mysterious coincidence. They *did* notice, however, that right from the start -- when they were going "dear, dear, dear" and tutting at Mr David's appalling lack of whatever -- the boy sat behind them was having to try *very* hard not to giggle. Oh, Idleberry challenged us to guess something about a politician who left politics to go back to being a priest or something. I don't know his name, but I bet he's Icelandic. They do things like that. I had a teacher who was a priest, once. Every so often he would go in a mad rage and start throwing tables at people. Taraa, then. Will +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+