Hewwo, I returned from Inbred Country (fife) today. As fun as it all was it's quite nice to be among people to whom 'dad' and 'uncle' don't mean the same thing. But I had to delete a lot of sinister mail (two weeks worth) cause it wasn't polite to sit and read them from someone else's computer. And I keep forgetting that on my own keyboard the '@' key and the ' " ' key are mixed around. So do you want to hear all about my holiday? Cause that's the only interesting thing I've got to talk about. A big part of my holiday story involves illegal things like underage drinking, smoking things and the computer misuse act. I got ruined quite a lot, and spewed my load in a trendy nightclub. But i never tried to smoke asprin like someone else did. We went to see the Discovery in Dundee and it was swell. I beed Captain Gay and my host Jaz was Lt. Gay of the good HMS homosexual. And there's a lot of pictures of us arranging the manequins into rude positions and us with some lifesize model sheep and oh the fun we had with those. I don't know if it makes it better of worse that we got a 12 year old sprog to take the photos. Probably worse. Oh and we went to Leven where Danskin lived and worked before he was jailed. And I bought Violet Creams, and a disposable camera and we got our pictures taken outside of Smith and Grant, Danskin's old office, for a laugh, and then Cameron Makenzie who we recognised from Igor emailing us the Staff page of the Smith and Grant site over and again, he came out and yelled at us and said "what the hell are you doing taking pictures of my office?" and it turns out he thought we from the press (with a disposable camera and jaz's 12 year old sister who is in fact madelin from gregory's girl) so I did the talking and said "well we're tourists and this is a pretty village" even though it was in fact just a plain old town centre and there was no way anyone would want pictures of a lawyers. And we were all really dying to say "haha you employed a peadophile" but we never. And we also passed Braemar House where Danskin lived and brought underage buoys back to and Saughton Prison where he lives now but we drew the line at going to see him because Igor wasn't there and he would have been jealous (plus it's a bit sick). I went to Edinburgh too and I got bored of wearing shoes so I was walking about Princes Street barefoot because I decided that shoes are for people who don't like their feet, and I don't like my feet but I want to appear confident. And I have a new purse which is all denim and has a rainbow on it. Oh and I downloaded loads of B&S and Heavenly and the Smiths onto jaz's computer because she's a metaller and listens to fear factory. And she wasn't happy when she booted up and morrisey started whining at her. And ANGELFIRE SHUT DOWN MINE AND JAZ'S SITE. I was rather distraught. It's not the one on Bob the Wasp though., never fear. It was a different one. Our aim was to make it so offensive that we got in the papers but they shut us down first. It was quite bad though. You loaded up and a picture of Harold Shipman with a halo and 'GOD' written underneath came up. We got a record amount of hate e mail, which was to a special address we came up with which I won't tell you because no one will ever speak to me again if i say what it was. But it wasn't all bad, we just said we hated everything, like we said we hated gays but we also hated homophobes and stuff. It was a big contradiction. I also went to a club and pretended to be 19 to get in and these guys bought me drinks and stuff and it saved me lots of money but they didn't seem too pleased when I said at the end of it that I had a devastatingly handsome boyfriend. Maybe I should have mentioned that earlier to them. Oops. Ah well, I'm not stopping home for long luckily. I'm hopping some unreliable public transport to London where I'm meeting the aforementioned devastatingly handsome boyfriend which should be swell. Grate even. Purple is a really grate colour. The best colour in the world in fact. I wish everything was purple. I'm going to go now, so byebye. Hugs, Jen +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+