Glad to see that the mighty crunching wheels of Glasgow picnic planning have started to roll; of course not having a beach is a big flaw but it can't be helped ;) I look forward to hearing Reports Back of bad dancing, mass arrests and lewd acts with Ribena. On a smaller and more imminent scale, there is still the option of a Sinister meeting at/before the London Go-Betweens gig on Monday if anyone fancies it (or indeed, fancies either me or the Gingerfox or both, cos, er, we'll be there). Email me, yo. I don't think Sinister's ever heard about someone's vasectomy before. We truly are getting more fascinating every day and I don't mean that sarcastically. Coming soon: 'Smear Test Diaries'. Sadly I can't offer anything so exciting, but that won't stop me dragging everyone down to my level. The grand(ish) tradition of the pastiche has been a bit neglected lately, so I decided to waste most of the morning at work composing this timeless ballad (maybe you can sing it to your girl at the ball, Ian P): **** Indie Boi He was a geek She was more chic Can I make it any more obvious? He wore brown flares She had Amelie's hair What more can I say? He crushed on her She'd never tell secretly she crushed on him as well But all of her friends Stuck up their nose They had a problem with his corduroy clothes. He was an indie boy She said you're too skinny boy He wasn't good enough for her She had a pencil case With Hello Kitty's face She needed to come back down to earth. Five years from now She sits at home Feeding the goldfish she's all alone She turns on TV Guess who she sees Indie boy on the Open University. She calls up her friends They already know And they've all got Tickets to see the show. She tags along Stands at the back to Look at the man and his protractor. He was an indie boy She said you're too skinny boy He wasn't good enough for her Now he's earned loads of cash Doing really hard maths Does your pretty face see what he's worth? <repeat> Sorry girl but you missed out Well tough luck that boy's mine now We're discussing quantum physics And waiting for aliens to visit. Too bad that you couldn't see See the man that geek could be. There is more than meets the eye I've seen the way he can recite Pi. He's just a geek And I'm just a freak Can I make it any more obvious? We are in love Haven't you heard How we are happy being nerds? I'm with the indie boy The Mork to my Mindy boy I'll be backstage after the show I'll be in the studio Working out the formula For how much of a bitch you are... <repeat> **** Well, it seemed like a good idea at the time. love Archel Lavigne xxx ****************** Visit www.buzzwords.ndo.co.uk for the best new writing on the web. Email submissions@buzzwords.ndo.co.uk +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+