Hallo, I have been meaning to write to you, oh dashing Sinister one, for such a long while. You see, while you have been off in the hills, standing in the stirrups and squinting through your pocket telescope, I have been writing a Sinister post. The trouble is that I began writing it so long ago, and have got through so many quills and sealing wax during the course of it, that it's all become completely out of date. I once had a conversation with one of you which went something like: Him: How do you decide which posts to read and which ones not to read? Me: Oh if I see it in my inbox and it's over five kilobytes big then I just delete it. Him: Oh. Mine are always over five kilobytes. Me: I see. Who are you again? But, fearless chums, I am afraid that I have become rather rambling myself of late, presumably due to deterioration of the brane, and am as much likely to commit the shameful sin of writing too much as anyone else. So, I have today decided to be succinct. MY SINISTER WEEK BY ROBIN STOUT 1. The other day I went into the cafe, and ordered some lovely hot chocolate from the australian girl who works there. She was squinting into the sun, which had settled on a rooftop over the street, so I positioned my fat head in front of it, forming a total eclipse of the head, if you like, and shielding her from the hazardous rays. I stood there for quite a while, and as I did so it dawned on me that she was wearing an upside-down badge belonging to a certain Glaswegian band. I thought of saying something like, "Cripes, your badge is upside down! That's rather sinister!", but then I thought better of it. 2. On Sunday, I was in Birmingham the land of the beautiful and free, and who should I run into buying haircare products but our own dear Ian Anscombe! It was quite a turn up for the books, I can tell you. I told him I usually buy the styling cream for straight hair. I presume he bought the one for gay hair instead. 3. On the way to work this morning we passed a Reliant Robin, a green one, which was driven by an old chap. In the window was a humourous sticker which said "My dick isn't the wrong size - I was supposed to have been born a dwarf". FIN _________________________________________________________________ It's fast, it's easy and it's free. Get MSN Messenger today! http://www.msn.co.uk/messenger +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+