When I was a little boy I used to wonder about my name and where it came from. My dad had been fostered and all of his family lost at sea, so I was possibly going to be the last Stout in the world. That's a great responsibility for a five year old to have to carry. If I had fallen over and dropped my ice lolly into the stinging nettles and was crying on my mother's knee, she would tell me a story about how there was a tiny island in the very north of Scotland where everyone was called Stout. That would stop me crying; I'd blink at the sky through my tears and think of this magical place and my responsibilities. I'd think about all the other Stouts on their fishing boats in their mackintoshes and feel close to them. I was strong. A melted ice lolly wouldn't upset me. Well, as I grew up I grew wiser and I decided that my mum's story about the wonderful stormy island where we all came from was nothing more than a rain-dappled dream. I got distracted by Top Trumps and dinosaurs, pop music and the girl at the desk in front of me. Then, one sunny day a bit like today - well, yesterday, actually - my sister phoned me to tell me that the full name of Cameron, the housewives' favourite from Big Brother Four, is Cameron Stout! More importantly he comes from Orkney and sells fish. As I said, we're a rare breed, so to find one of us living on Orkney must be more than a coincidence. I'm starting to think my mother might be right. And with his charm that makes Grandmothers swoon it only makes sense that we're related. I might have to make a pilgrimage to the islands and see if there's a sword in a stone waiting for me. *** There was a very small mention of Struan in the Independent, in this article here: http://enjoyment.independent.co.uk/music/features/story.jsp?story=414309 See if you can spot it. Terry mentioned Stuart's Diary. It's great, I agree. A highlight. You know, I would have said that the only thing possibly better than Stuart's Diary is Robin's Express Delivery, but the Express Delivery has broken down at the moment and timewarped back to May for reasons I just can't understand. I think I'll have to take the delivery van to the garage. Anyway, I know some of you don't read Stuart's diary, or forget to, so here's the poem he wrote in case you haven't seen it. It's a cracker. (It seems the Poetry Parrot has been doing the rounds in Glasgow, lately). << 10.06.03: a poem I'm in love with my therapist I'm in love with my therapist She's the only one who understands me! The only one that never demands of me Promises, and super-scheduled weekends Pub gatherings And so much as the changing of a lightbulb I'm in love with my minister She's the only one who sits me down And preaches to me sensibly (And not without authority) She tells the story of her week And I collapse in warm and grateful reveries Of understanding I'm in love with my surroundings I'll hang them from me like a garland The streets; action borrowed from other people's lives 'I'll be a freak if you will' A market of inappropriateness Greets me at the bottom of my stairs I'm in love with a love forbidden by men's magazines A love which comes between a mate and his girl So I lie low and skulk. Well, not exactly The thrill of 'freedom' I'll let ring out a while longer She's tethered to his side in a pact Forced by the leaning curves of social compatibility Sod all that! I'll take a chance that we're missmatched as hell But I'm not going to force anything. I'm going to let fate show its hand In the longest and most boring game of love poker imaginable I'm still in love with my therapist though (SM & MS forever) Like polar bears and penguins Her friends and mine will never meet We stop short of meeting for coffee We stop short of walking each other home Stop short of crossing the line Where lurks the history The lies and the baggage under eyes The grim mornings And the wondering of a latched onto guilt Stuart
I'm off to give blood now, if they'll take it. Deep breaths. Robin xxxxx ps: I'm going to the Stuart M dj set in Nottingham at the weekend, so if anyone's around let me know and I'll say hello. _________________________________________________________________ Stay in touch with absent friends - get MSN Messenger http://www.msn.co.uk/messenger +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+