i went to apply for another job today. it is a receptionist job, which might not be so bad because receptionists in movies are always sitting around filing their nails and yawning, and while i have never filed my nails in my life, i do like to yawn. part of the application required that you rate yourself on a scale of 1-10 for each in a column of adjectives. there was another girl applying for the job, and she leaned over quietly... girl: psst! what does 'assertive' mean? kirsten: well, to be assertive is to be despicably lazy, and also incompetent. girl: ooh, i better give myself only a one or a two on that one. kirsten: yes, definitely. and good luck to you. no, i'm just kidding, i didn't say that but it took an unbelievable amount of self-control. at that point in the application process, i was reasonably certain that i had a decent chance of getting the job over this girl, but then i got to the part about criminal convictions, and i legally had to elaborate upon my night in the slammer with tangueray the crack pusher and the mousy woman who had killed her children. i was only in for underage drinking. (when tangueray discovered this fact, she was able to use her massive size and her hardened criminal status to gain the rights to my morning coffee and muffin, plus the ability to jab me in the ribs at any time and make me hold a curtain in front of the toilet while she relieved herself.) it was the most idiotic night, but i still felt sorry to see that part of my application all filled in while the other girl's was blank and pure and righteous-looking. the battle is on: knowledge of basic vocabulary vs. virtue. i'll announce the victor in ten to fourteen business days. kirsten Care2 make the world greener! http://www.care2.com - Get your Free e-mail account that helps save Wildlife! +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+