Two. I'm trying to work out a way of taking a photograph of someone without them noticing. You see, the man who drives the number thirty bus looks just like Johnny Cash. It's uncanny. The first time I saw him, I'd been reading Harry Potter in the bus shelter and had it in my hand when I climbed on the bus. He eyed me up as I climbed in. His grizzled chin hardened. "Harry Potter?", he asked. "Erm, yes", I replied, slightly embarrassed. "Get off the bus." "But I've got a ticket." A shadow ran across his tanned face, like a high cloud over the Texan plain. The hollows in his cheeks deepened. He felt around for his gun, but found only a gearstick and a ticket machine. "Well..", he said. He let me on. I sat at the back and kept my book closed the whole way home. I know you have stalked people before. I saw you behind that bush that one time; you were only pretending to tie your shoelace, don't pretend. So perhaps you could give me a tip or two. Of course I could always just ask him for a photograph, but he's still got that gun-barrel glint in his eye, and I don't think I'd like to risk it. The number thirty is a good place for lookalikes. There's a woman who catches it every morning who looks so much like Jarvis Cocker that I convinced myself for a while that she was actually his sister. Turns out she's not, of course; I had a sneaky look at her bus pass and it said her name's Oborsky. R x _________________________________________________________________ Stay in touch with absent friends - get MSN Messenger http://www.msn.co.uk/messenger +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+