listen: somewhere i've read that the only reason we ask for advice is to attempt to disobey the truth we know to exist with perhaps brief and temporary supplemental drivel. perhaps not in those words exactly, but in the same ball park. there's nothing like ballparkin' a quote. listen: so what i need is advice. and it's a bit of a dilemma. it's something i realize to be not only far-fetched and totally hilariously stupid (but stupid in a newly stupid way, very refreshing. the type of stupid that slaps you twice, back and forth, in the face, and then you feel your eyes swimming in your skull, as if for the first time). this advice pertains to a situation that could very well be its own b&s song. unfortunately, it's not, and instead, it's a window in my albeit short yet terribly emotionally vulnerable life. listen: so i work in a bookstore. a barnes and noble to be exact. and let me first say how embarassed i am of my previous post and the girl i fell in love with. if i only realized that things like those happen way too often than i can fully contemplate and register. anyways, i work in a bookstore. and i was at the information station, which for those of you who've never entered such a terrible corporate establishment such as this, it's a desk in the middle of the store that directs people to books. sometimes i wish the books would just walk away. anyways. ok so this girl came up. and she was beautiful. yes. very much so. can anyone describe that feeling? it's a weird thing...it's like a numbness. anyways, i'm being way too long with this. so she asked for the high school reading lists for the area (yes, she is in high school, but then again, i'm still a teenager too) and i helped for 15 minutes or so. talking to her. recommending books (invisible man was one....hmm), and flashing my finally brace-less smile. anyways. i was flirting my pants off. not literally. yet. but we never really got into a my-dad-is-dying-we're-going-to-just-bury-him-tomorrow discussion in terms of personal closeness. so i let her take the list with her, into the fiction section, while i helped other customers. five minutes pass. i return to my desk. and i see the notebook. and i being, the stupid terrible romantic IDIOT that i am, look through it. and what do i find? i find a name and number. ahhh!!! listen: here's the question--did she leave it for me? did she write it? is it her number?! or am i hallucinating? the exact details were: a full name (first AND last name) with a number, local. AND a cell phone number. how do i know? there's a number, and then it says: cell. listen: 1% of me thinks she left the number hoping i'd call. 99% of me thinks i'm very stupid and gullible for even thinking about this, at all. now this is very very well travelled notebook. it's seen a thousand hands and been dropped everywhere, and been left in every crevice mentionable. i just don't know. my female friend told me that if she did in fact leave this number, she'd never show her face in the store again, because she'd take my not calling as a sign of rejection. argh! and no, the number is not listed in the phonebook. unlisted...hmm. so i could call. but what would i say? i could ask for ____ and if a grown woman answers, i could just hang up. i need advice. someone fill my mind with sane thoughts. because i know, and you obviously know, if you've read for this long, that sane thoughts are far, far away. until the next girl breaks my heart, the nerdy shy eyed pacifist blake broken hearts anonymous http://members.tripod.com/nucleartrout +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the undead Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "tech-heads and students" +-+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "peculiarly deranged fanbase" "frighteningly named +-+ +-+ Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+