Hello, my name's Robin Stout Sarah: "Robin, are you a weatherman yet?". No, not yet, I'm going to TV Centre on Wednesday for a Popstars-style audition. I'll tell you what happens then. It will probably be a tale of humiliation and woe, tragedy and romance, rain and sunny spells, warming up later. I've gone rather overboard and bought four tickets for the Royal Albert Hall. The woman on the phone said they were "at the back". I hope this doesn't mean behind Big Stu. There should be an option on the website for "Not behind Big Stu", so if you end up watching the concert around Stu's ears you get a reduction. Or they could give you big shoes, like in a bowling alley, Big Stu Shoes, so you can see over his head. A friend of mine bet 2 pounds on Liverpool winning the treble and won 104 pounds. I bet 50p on France winning Eurovision and won nothing. Where's the justice in the world? Like Jesus, I think the best way to understand life's problems is to tell stories. Here's a little parable, based on a real life event, called Robin and the Egg. Maybe it can help cast light into our dark and meaningless lives. Or maybe it's just rubbish. Robin and the Egg Yesterday I bought an egg. Just the one, for a meal I was cooking. I bought it from the shop on the corner, where the people are all miserable, and it cost me 25p. I carried it home, cradling it in my hands. I skillfully dodged the six delinquent kids from two houses down who were riding their bikes on the pavement. I deftly tiptoed past a man in a puffa jacket who was strutting down the street with his elbows out. When I was back, I slid through the door, and gently placed the egg on the kitchen table. Then I went to get a bowl, and I turned, and the egg rolled slowly from the counter and fell on the floor. I tried to catch it, but I was never any good at cricket. All I had left was bits of eggshell, and a mess on the floor. A moral lesson for us all, I think, um, put eggs in eggcups, or something. Robin. +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+