i know i just recently posted to sinister, but i've been feeling all belle and sebastian-y lately. some of you may know of peet's coffee, and if you do then you probably know that peet's sells a blend called major dickason's. well, we were brewing the major all day today, so of course i spent most of my time humming "me and the major," because how could i not? then i came home and i've been listening to b&s practically nonstop since. i realized how much i like twattybus, i think i'd forgotten, shelved it away with some distant memories. i put it on, and ". . . brilliant career" starts up, and i'm lost in the music, mesmerized by it. how could i forget this? i know and accept that sinister is and probably always be my favorite album, but damn this one's good. i know you all know this, because you wouldn't be on this list if you didn't. now here's a problem: i just don't feel the same way about FYHCYWLAP. i've tried and i've tried, but it just doesn't inspire a whole lot of emotion the way just about every other recording does. sure, there are a few songs that i've connected to (the chalet lines, nice day for a sulk, i fought in a war, women's realm), but none of those are particularly strong or deep connections -- i just think they're good songs, and i like to listen to them. don't get me wrong, i like the album, they're all good songs. they just don't bring out any feelings for me. does this make me a bad person? i can listen to simple things halfway through and be in tears, and then i can listen to this entire album and not feel a single thing. (and if you're wondering why simple things would make me cry, to be honest i'm not really sure). i discovered tonight that the pictures from explodingdog and 1000robots make GRATE cover art images in my mp3 player (audion). i know what the albums look like, i think it's more interesting to look at a different picture that shares some of the same qualities as the music. needless to say, based on the way i've been feeling today, i've done up all the b&s albums. i find myself having way too much fun with sam brown's little creations at explodingdog.com and 1000robots.com (and if you haven't been to either of these sites, you really ought to.) i've even sent him titles, made nifty desktop pictures (with a little added depth and dimension, courtesy of adobe photoshop), "about this mac" replacements, greeting cards, anything i can think of, out of his pictures. i even carry a few around with me on my palmpilot. there's nothing like being in a crappy mood and looking at "cheer up," "all my favorite people live in this box that i look at every day," "making cats," and "what does god say." hmmmmm. i really should be studying now. <-- why does it seem like just about 1/2 of all the posts to sinister contain this or a similar phrase? am i crazy for thinking this? back on the music front, i've recently discovered that i can't listen to palace music "lost blues" without thinking about driving up route 63 to new hampshire, which is what i used to do every other saturday when i was at college in western massachusetts. but now i'm back in chicago, a thousand miles away from route 63, and i miss it so much. in fact, i miss it so much that when i finish with the med tech program i'm in now, i'm probably going to move back there. i'm a little scared about that idea, but it's like a screwdriver in my chest whenever i think about my life out east, i miss it so much. i miss my grocery store, my video rental store, my kmart, and my biweekly trip to new hampshire. i used to put on "lost blues" about 5 miles outside of northfield mass, turn the volume way up, and sing at the top of my lungs, off key, cracked and broken, and fall in love with the scenery, the 300 year old cemetaries, the hills, the farms, and the burly guys in pickup trucks. then, when the song finished, i'd put it right back on again, and repeat the process. so, you see my problem. i love that song, but i'm nowhere near new hampshire, northfield mass, or any of it. so now what? you may be wondering why this wasn't a problem before. well, it was. so i just didn't listen to it much. in fact, i barely listened to a lot of my favorite music because i had trouble dealing with the memories and activities associated. i can't really listen to the jesus and mary chain "stoned and dethroned," because that was the album i listened to on the trip home from new hampshire. each and every time, with a few exceptions. it's "going home" music. it's an album i listened to driving back to chicago from massachusetts, from michigan to chicago, wisconsin to chicago. i think for once i'd like to hear it going to a new home, from chicago to somewhere else. i'm not saying it's the only thing i listened to on those trips, it's just that it was the defining peice of music on those trips. it set the mood. and, oddly enough, i didn't listen to it on the way there, just the way home. i think that's all i have to say. i really just meant to post about belle and sebastian. who would have thought i'd end up talking about long car trips and my own weird neuroses. for the record, the "this is just a modern rock song" EP reminds me of driving through new york, to massachusetts, from philadelphia. hm. now i need to walk my dog. have a good night, everyone. -kerry -- "we're special in other ways. ways our mothers appreciate." --built to spill, "kicked it in the sun" +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the undead Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. 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