"Daddy, what's an optimist?" said Pat to Mike while they were walking down the street together one day. "One who thought that Laura Llew wasn't going to prance around posting pretending she was Dorthy Parker anymore," replied the absentminded professor, as he wound up the cat and put the clock out. I'm fettered in a flurry of a fluster! Oh how I was all primed to join in the rank and file of sinister sentimantality which has been steadily streaming along! In one hand I have lain a last lone summer bloom of a violet ready to press in between sad tear stained pages and in the other lays my hankerchief (hand embroidered.. in blue). Did you think I could not be nostalgic as well? Did you think that all I suffered in my own little Dogpatch of North Carolina were farmers lolling about with their pigs and daisy duke distilling potent liquor while we all smoked corncob pipes while coping with social climbers and frauds from the outside world? Don't you think I look cute in this new corduroy John Deere hat? Oh how I was going to pine for Peter Miller that is. I had an eulogy ready and everything. *clears throat* My love flew like a butterfly Until death swooped down like a bat As the poet Emma Montana McElroy said "That's the end of that" However, not only did he not leave the list but he's still posting. Fine, Petre - I don't miss you either! ***WIDE WIDE WORLD OF WRESTLING: WILLZEBUBS VERSUS RACHEELS:*** So, now sentimentality has been shoddily set aside and we're drowning in a debacle over names & their puns. (Doesn't that sound like a bad show topic for a talk show? "NAMES: And The Llewsers Who Chu-se Bad Puns For Them - Next on Ella Minnow Pea) To list a few so we can get it out of the way & Will Porter can come out from under his bed: - Fire at Will - Where there's a Will there's a way and then the biblical: - Sacrifice Your Will Even I am susceptible to such follies. Once my roommate was being overly dramatic and complaining of how something was going to kill her so when I tried to nudge her to movement she said, "Not now - I'm writing my Will." I looked at the boy named Will who was in our apartment at the time (I believe he was laying on the floor flapping his arms up and down making carpet angels) and said, "We don't want to hear about your love letters." Jen, I tried to do a direct quote but I can't find it in the archives. However, there was pining for the absence of a Sinister William Harris at the Washington or Oregon picnic earlier. Have you ever met a Will Harris? They're a dodgy sort indeed. I'm not saying they bite but there is a thing called CHAPSTICK KISSES which strike fear in my heart. I've been chased over half the state of Utah but somehow managed to avoid them for the most part. The Will in the story above was a William Harris. Once he asked if I would set him up with a girl who had asked me out a few times. (I suppose he thought she wasn't so picky). So, I tried and she was game until I described Will as tall, dark, and handsome with the clarification of - taller than a pygamy but not as dark as one. She stopped talking to me. In fact, I haven't heard from her in the three years since. Oh well, now Will is married to another girl who I think he's pretty serious about so that's that. ***SINISTER PICNICS: Don't you have ants in England? Why yes, but I never hear from them.*** I was proud to see that I made an appearance at a Sinister picnic. You can see it for yourself at http://robster75.tripod.com/embra3.jpg Though I'm especially fond of Honey, I'm not the bee. No, I'm on Ken's chest (and wondering if he'll make us all proud with a smutty comment about sometime make an appearance on my chest.) Yes! I'm responsible for one of his badges. Let's guess which one I am!! 1. With my feathered hair and turned up collar, am I the quinnessential 80s fan and responsible for "Camera Obscura"? 2. Slide out of my way Jewel Shepherd! Am I the "Porn Star"? 3. With my hotpants, my tube top and fashionable footwear am I all about the purple "bowling" badge? ***NAME CHECKS: My bratwurst has a first name. It's F-R-I-T-Z. My bratwurst has a second name. It's S-C-H-N-A-C-K-E-N-P-H-E-F-F-E-R-H-A-U-S-E-N*** Now it's time for Laura Llew to make random comments on other people's post! Helen hailed, "Although wearing them outside means that you get odd looks and possibly sniggers, but if Pamela Anderson can do it, then dammit so can I." I'm not in anyway a fashion guru but I'm guessing that using Pamela Anderson as an example to justify one's clothing (or lack thereof) choice could get you into trouble Maddie murmered, "Do you want to be a Sinister Super Hero? Can you kick ass/arse? Do you look simply stunning in lycra? Do you have an allitervative name?" Why yes! Yes! (I kick ass. I'm american - we don't have arses.) Yes! (I get stopped on the street frequently to be told how absolutely flattering lycra would be on me) Yes! Can I be the superhero who fights minor crime. None of this saving the world from world domination and international syndication of the Drew Carey Show but the small things - people wearing white after labor day, not using their turn signal, having slightly used girls try to sell your Wockenfuss. Off to save the day, Laura "meeting all of your Laura Llew needs since 1977" PS - Big thanks and llots of llove to Paltry Paul (I'm listening to your cds now. Awww!), Dahling Stacey, Billzebub, Jamesest, Dreamsy Breamsy, PrimitivePainter (who still must post his The State I Am In theory!), my fellow (sister) Spinisterine Vel, and everyone else who thought of me (and Ken who in his ultimate generosity offered to kiss me) last Tuesday. Weeeeeeee! Plus, HUGE SHOUTS, much admiration, love, hugs, kisses, and general overall worship to JIMMY G who had my future cabanna boy, Stuart Murdoch, autograph a ticket to one of the western B&S shows for me. I went so weak in the knees when I saw it.. and then as soon as I regained strength I jumped up and down lots while yippeeying for Glee. PPS - If I post this quickly enough, I'll be right next to James Thorniley on the list of posts in the archives and won't that be cozy? Oh wait - nevermind. Damn you Michael Vance (well, if you're lucky) & Steely Dan - you ruined it all! _________________________________________________________________ Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com/intl.asp +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+