i honestly can't believe all of this hoopla. my goodness. i'm quite the troublemaker it would seem. perhaps i should enumerate a bit....this may take awhile so bare with me or delete me....your choice. fundamentally: since joining sinister in 98, i have always had a slightly Utopian view of our list here. yes, we are from different cultures, different religions, different colours, we have individual likes and dislikes, passions, interests, hobbies, etc. through all of that, there has also always (seemingly) been an unspoken respect. i have been on many lists in my day and more often than not there have been instances of things like: " what do you mean you don't read chaucer? you are such a dick." i have always loved sinister because, though there may be the tongue-in cheek barb, there is no attacking. i keep my computer at work and have been on holiday. the only daily means i have of checking my email is my mobile phone....and i really hate typing on it, so i don't. as some of you may or may not know, i have been having some health issues in the past year. for awhile i talked about it, then i stopped....i didn't want to be the one always whining. on tuesday i had this "procedure" done. i had to have a pH monitor connected to my lower esophageal sphincter which required a couple of rather unpleasant things. 1) a catheter had to be put up my nose and down my throat 60 cm. 2) after that, a tube had to be put up my nose and down my throat 36 cm. 3) after that, i had to walk around all day and night with the aforementioned tube taped to my face and i had to carry my monitor around with me for a 24 hour duration. the purpose of this was to monitor the fluctuations of acid pH in my stomach over the course of an entire day whilst carrying on my daily activities. it was, without question, the most horrible thing i have ever been through. fast forward....on wednesday i got my tubes removed and was happy to be sans equipment. i was also happy that people could stop staring at me like a two headed freak. yesterday, wednesday, i got the results of the monitoring. i found out that the average person's pH is around 5.....if it goes below 4, consistently, you are considered to be in a "danger zone." i found out that my average pH at night is .9. i also found out that, as a result of that, my likelihood for getting esophageal cancer has skyrocketed. it is pretty likely that, in the next few years, i will have cancer. it is also likely that i will need a tube permanently in my throat if my condition is too far gone to be corrected. the good part of this is that a) i at least know what is going on now and can (hopefully) get proper treatment in enough time and b) it is in the confines of a research study so i don't have to pay for any of this stuff. having said all of that....i purposely went to the library yesterday to read some sinister mail, hoping to be put in my typical silly, happy sinister mood. when i read mark and idel's posts, which seemed slightly abrasive and unnecessarily condescending, i sort of flipped out. i know that miss berry doesn't care for my posts, and i can completely respect that, i just thought that someone innocently asking about genre's and twee seemed sort of a silly thing to get upset about. i know that i can't stand music classification and perhaps our idel's is the same....i just wasn't expecting a post like that....which is prolly me overreacting slightly as well. as for mark. well, i doubt i need to tell any of you that there is no love lost between he and i. i never had a problem with mark until he went out of his way to flame me onlist all of the time. having said all of that, i also realise that i over reacted and mentioned things onlist that would have best been said offlist. i apologise for involving the list and for making the fruitloop-apps' feel "in the middle." i don't think mark or i, regardless of our feelings for one another, wish to involve the list in a battle of choosing sides. i received a lot of off list mail yesterday, much of which was very supportive and said that i was right on the money and that many really liked my post from yesterday.... i think we all need to keep in mind what mrs. frapps said.....and i include myself in that. no one is liked by everyone and no one likes everyone. it is so easy to just react to email without thinking about the words you are typing....without thinking that not everyone will pick up on the intended tone.....not everyone will get the inside jokes that may be inserted...not everyone understands that your tongue was firmly planted in cheek when you said something. ah well. i guess the bottom line is that i am sorry for my email from yesterday. i'm sorry that i aided in turning sinister into the antithesis of itself for awhile. i wish you all a lovely weekend. love ~christine __________________________________ Do you Yahoo!? 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