Dear squirrels, hello it's me, Chris. For those of you who weren't aware, I used to write stories about Belle and Sebastian. These have recently ground to halt basically due to lack of time and motivation. Literary Expert Anne Ward suggested I write a computer program to generate them, so I set about it. Here is the output from my intelligent MISSY computer, like the one in War Games. Login: CLEONARD Password: *************** Welcome to the Corporation Network, Mr. Chris. What shall we do today?
MISSY GENERATE STORY
Certainly, Mr. Chris. Who will be the main character in the story?
MISSY STRUAN MURDOCH
As always, Mr. Chris. Shall this be a happy or a sad story?
MISSY HAPPY
Would you like any adult content in this story?
MISSY NO
That's all I need to know, Mr. Chris. Press enter to continue... <MISSY GENERATE STORY> <CHARACTER = "STRUAN MURDOCH" TYPE = "HAPPY" SWEARY = "NO"> <GENERATE LOCATION . . . . . GROVESNER CAFE> <GENERATE TIME . . . . . . . VALENTINES DAY> <CALCULATING . . . .> Here is your story, Mr. Chris. STRUAN'S BEST DAY ================= Struan Murdoch sat by himself in the Grovesnor Cafe, looking at his all day breakfast. He wasn't looking at his breakfast because it was lovely (even though it was), he was looking at it because he didn't want to raise his head. You see, the rest of the Cafe was full of couples in love - it was Valentines day. And Struan didn't have a Valentine, only a sausage and two eggs left. "Oh, it's not fair!", he said to himself "when will someone fall in wove with me!". "But everyone loves you Struan", said a little voice from below. Struan looked at his plate - his two eggs and sausage had taken on the shape of an all day breakfast face. It was talking to him! "Can't you see Struan, everyone loves you because you're great!". "Weally, all day bweakfast face? Then why wont anyone sit down beside me? Why Why Why?". "Look again, Struan". Struan looked beside him to see a very pretty girl who handed him a daffodil. "Will you be my valentine, Struan?" "No", he said. The girl ran away crying. Another girl, even prettier sat down beside him and gave him a love heart balloon. "Struan, will you be my valentine?". "No" he said. She ran away crying too. Yet another girl came and sat down beside him. This girl was rather plain, with lank hair and spots, and she smelled bad. "Will you be my valentine, Struan?". "Yes I will! Let's go for a walk in the park!", shouted Struan. He was delighted. Just as they were leaving the all day breakfast face grabbed Struan with his fork hand - "I have to know", he said, "why did you knock back those two beauties for this boiler?". "Simple", said Struan, she's the chef here, and I like all day breakfast more than I like girls! They both had a laugh, then Struan scoffed the rest of his meal before leaving. END
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Hmm, needs a bit of work but getting there, God bless you and keep you, Christopher ______________________________________________________ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list please mail "sinister@majordomo.net". To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to "majordomo@majordomo.net". For list archives and searching, list rules, FAQ, poor jokes etc, see http://www.majordomo.net/sinister +---+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" +---+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+