i keep playing that lyric through my head. i am in a daze today. this morning i woke-up and thought to myself: "i don't have to go to class today maybe i will just stay in bed" but then my mom came and said "don't you have to get up?" so i said "yes" and dragged my self out of bed and went to class. just one more (although it's 2 hours) and then i'm free! after having been away from you all for slightly over a week i feel somewhat hesitant to write. i feel out of the loop. it's like when you know your friends aren't really doning anything but that if you don't go you might somehow miss out on the one time sommething happens. anyway...i know you're all dying to know what happened with the boyfriend. (sarcasm). well. i got up there a week ago friday and as soon as i saw him it wasn't going to be the same. the next night we broke-up. luckily we still had a really good time for the rest of the week. although it was somewhat bad b/c he can't understand why i broke-up with him when we get on so well and i nearly forgot myself. everything was the same between us i just saw it all differently and i couldn't go back to seeing things the way i used to. i am feeling a bit more reconciled now. however he is under the impression that we were "meant to be" and that when he gets back everything will be ok. he's such a wonderful guy but he is not right for me. i don't mind being alone right now but i fear spending the rest of my life alone. i might not even mind that (as long as i could have a few flings or something) if i knew that i would have friends who would end up alone too. it's not that i want a relationship it's just that i don't want everyone but me to be in relationships. i could wait a good while before settling down but my fear is that by the time i'm ready all the good guys will be happily paired off. oh well. i have always been a pessimist but somewhere along the line i think i may have become an optimist and i now believe that everything will work itself out in the end. happiness to you all, di he who hates is to be pitied, but he who loves is to be pitied more -german proverb +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the undead Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "tech-heads and students" +-+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+