Lovely Sinisterians, Given my somewhat unfortunate history with relationships, you could say I was a girl looking for love in all the wrong places. You could say that, that is, if you are one prone to hackneyed clichés -- as I occasionally am. After making an impetuous declaration to no longer date the types Id been dating, I was plunged into six months of tortured celibacy. I finally sought to rectify this situation last Friday in that Holy Grail of swingerdom: the no-strings attached [assumedly] emotionless casual sex. Never being one to get something right the first time, however, I give the activity absolutely no forethought and ended up selecting the housemate of my best friend as my mate. (Mistake, especially since I am temporarily living in said house.) In short, I think I am simply not emotionally equipped to spend the day following my first sexual encounter with someone utterly alone. In an act of unintentional abandonment, he went off for the weekend and I spent the day paying bills, reading every old Newsweek in the house, and skimming a rather boring book of Celtic fairy tales. When he finally returned (disinterested in anything Id cooked in my bout of domesticity) we exchanged only the most cursory greetings (most of which consisted of me relaying his phone messages, anyway) and he went downstairs to play bass, making the whole house vibrate with Weezer chords. I wanted nothing more than someone to talk to, but instead had to settle for sitting on the porch railing, alone, with a mug of hot cocoa, and watching the pedestrians. In those several hours I had to contemplate Grand Things on our dingy porch across from an even dingier motel, the only thing I could think of was, If I cant have relationships and I cant have casual sex, what can I have? (if the answer is a one-woman Yankee Hotel Foxtrot sing-a-long on a rainy summer evening, I suppose Ill just have to settle for that.) Ellie. +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+