Dear Sinister, The people across the road are gardening. Not the ones with no plantlife in their front garden (I think Ive mentioned this before, they stripped it completely bare two summers ago and have left it like that since. I blame the dad of the family, who can sometimes be seen standing just outside his front gate watching the sky turn from grey to orange, as if thinking Neither flora nor fauna shall pass my steely gaze nature was mine to conquer, and conquered her I have!), but the other ones, the ones that dont have a back garden, just a back yard. Ive been bowling, but I didnt win. We played with the bumpers up, so you arent supposed to be able to get the ball into there, but I managed that a couple of times anyway. However, Im not here to talk about mindless pedestrian dross like bowling or gardening, oh no. Instead I am both proud and excited to present: A BEGINNERS GUIDE TO DUCK DUCK GOOSE version 1.0 INTRODUCTION Although association football may have surpassed duck duck goose as our nations favourite pastime, this most noble of sports still has a place in the hearts and minds of young and old and is still practiced regularly in parks, playgrounds, gymnasiums and clubhouses across the land. Regarding why the sport seems to have fallen out of favour with the mainstream media is a question to wide and contentious to address properly here, but suffice to say that there are far more people playing duck duck goose than you are likely to hear about on the six oclock news. But Im getting ahead of myself since this guide should serve newcomers to the sport as well as seasoned professionals, and so I shall begin by giving an overview on the game, and talk a little about its history and the benefits of playing. Duck duck goose was founded in 1721 in the little village of Truro in Cornwall, which lies on the south coast of England. Credit for the invention of the game is a much-debated subject, with most people being of the belief that it was first played under the guidance of J. William Blaverstock on Truro village green, and the event is recorded in his diary entry for the 7th July 1721: when I chanced upon an idea for a new gamme, which we sette about playing on the greene for severel hours. I call the gamme duck duck duck goose and much frivolity ensused when the gamme was struck up The extra duck in the sports name was eventually dropped in 1863 at the behest of Mallard Cookson, chairman of the Professional Association of Duck Duck Duck Goose Players of England at the time, of course this change lead to a change in the name of the association as well, and the game has remained unchanged ever since. That Blaverstock was at the first game of duck duck goose is not questioned, but doubts have been cast over whether he did, in fact, invent the game, and various other accounts point to Rev. Patrick Monahan as the creator. Those interested in pursuing this debate will be pleased to know that a lengthy article can be found on our website http://www.duckduckgooseassociation.org/media/blaverstock.html Duck duck goose is a game like no other on Earth. It requires skill, strategy, fitness, poise and sportsmanship in healthy doses to be successful, and yet even the most unskilled can, and indeed are encouraged to participate. It is an easy game to learn, and can be played at all levels, but to master it takes years of dedication just ask Pierre Dutronc, current world champion: I started playing when I was just six years old, but something about the game made me keep coming back and when I learned of the professional leagues, nothing could hold me back. I played every day, kept on training and after many years I became champion. It was the best day of my life, and I hope I can repeat it next year. HOW TO PLAY Duck duck goose is one of the most versatile sports on the planet, since it does not require a specific number of people, nor a specific playing area, neither does it require special equipment or clothing, but specialist duck duck goose shoes, hats and protective guards are available from most good sports shops, or via our website. However, there are a few guidelines you should follow to ensure a successful game. Firstly, having the right amount of players is essential debates have raged on for years over the optimum number for a game, and current tournaments generally play with 23 players, but we suggest playing with somewhere between 10 and 40 participants. Less than ten and the game becomes repetitive and tiring, more than forty and it becomes unwieldy and people get left out. Anyone, young or old can play, and mixed games are also not unknown, so the makeup of your group is entirely up to you. Once you have your group together, then finding the right surface to play on is also imperative duck duck goose clubs will often have their own specially constructed pitches, but accessing these is not always practical and so we suggest an even surface that isnt too slippery, but which is also large enough to comfortably accommodate your game Ive heard too many stories of serious accidents and even deaths resulting from playing in overly tight areas, so be careful and choose wisely. Once you have your group together, and have found a surface then youre ready to start playing! Arrange yourselves into a rough circle and sit down try to intersperse more athletic or experienced players evenly around the circle to that the talent is fairly distributed, nothing is more disheartening than rivalries resulting from an unbalanced circle. When this is done a starting player must be chosen often someone will volunteer, but if there is more than one volunteer, or none at all then a player must be chosen at random. We suggest picking numbers, dice or drawing straws, though association accredited duck duck goose official spinners are available from our website. The chosen player then stands up and the circle tightens to fill up the space they have vacated. He or she then commences a circumnavigation of the playing area (tournament play is anti-clockwise, but for non official games, then either direction is fine. But bear in mind that once a game starts the direction of flow CANNOT be changed committing this offence whether by accident or intentionally results in immediate disqualification from the game). The player touches the head of each member of the circle as they pass, saying either duck or goose. If duck is chosen then the player carries on around the circle until they choose someone as the goose. When goose is said, the player immediately starts running around the circle, in an attempt to complete one full circuit, at which point they sit down in the place of the goose, whose task it is to rise from their place in the circle and chase the player. If the player is caught in this chase then they must continue being the player, and the game starts again. However, if the player completes the circuit and successfully takes the gooses place in the circle, then the goose adopts the role of the player and the game restarts like that, and continues thusly. The amount of time that a game should take is another contentious issue, and current championship games consist of two halves of twenty minutes each, the makeup of the circle is changed completely for the second half. More casual games can be ended whenever the players wish, and do not necessarily have to stop if one or more players wishes to retire. As I type this the Grimsby duck duck goose club are attempting to get into the record books by playing the longest continuous game of duck duck goose ever at the moment theyve been playing for a year and ten minutes, but they still have a long way to go to be the Reykjavik clubs long standing current record of four years, seven months, one week, two days, eight hours, twenty three minutes and sixteen seconds. The beauty of duck duck goose is that there are no winners or losers, and everyone gets something from the game, whether its the glory of having the most catches or successful runs, or just the unsurpassed sense of community and brotherhood that playing can bring. Ive heard tell of dozens of marriages that have started with a simple game of duck duck goose, long lost siblings who have met at clubs and whole hosts of friends brought together at clubs and games for the benefit of all. The power of the game was celebrated by Japanese poet Basho Matsuo in haiku form, the original copy of which is now framed and hung in the great hall at the Duck duck goose association building in London: Balance looks eastward The children play duck duck goose Tea swirls in its cup STRATEGY Although duck duck goose can naively be seen as a purely physical game, a newcomer to the sport will often be daunted by the complex strategies employed by experienced players to outwit his or her opponents. This short, and by no means comprehensive strategy guide is intended to help beginners with their game, though it is advised that you play a few games before reading to get a feel for the game, so that these strategies do not cloud your playing. 1. The Speedy Goose When your turn comes around, most people will settle back as you start your circumnavigation thinking youll do at least one full circuit to size up each player. However, if youre confident enough, calling goose very early on in your round, even on the first person you come to can be an excellent surprise tactic which should give you a good headstart for your run. 2. The Sleeping Goose The opposite of the above tactic, while most championship games impose a three-minute time limit on each players round, for more casual games you can spend even longer going around the circle, until everyone is quite bored with you and has become quite lethargic, then you strike! It will take your goose some seconds to recover from their drowsiness, by which time you should already be halfway back round. Time limits were introduced to the game in 1931, when Russian player Sergi Yevkenov spent a little over eight hours going round the circle, his chosen goose had fallen asleep by this time, and did not even get up or give chase an offence which saw him being disqualified from the game, and Yevkenov becoming Russias only World Champion to date. Another advantage of this tactic is that it allows you time to recover energy after running. 3. The Double Goose Return When youre the player, if you have previously given chase and failed, or been caught by faster sprinters, but think you have better stamina it is often a good tactic to pick the person who chose you as goose, or who caught you previously again a second time. They will be as tired as you are after the run, putting you on a relatively level setting and you stand a better chance of evading them. Repeatedly picking the same player even if you keep getting caught is not very sporting, although it can be an amusing tactic, and often will force the goose into submission, though dont be surprised if someone beaten by this tactic then starts employing it on you when theyre the player. A tactic to be employed sparingly since it works only at the exclusion of the rest of the group. 4. The Weakened Goose Any savvy player will know at least a little about all their opponents before entering a game, and while picking the slowest player during your turn will not present much of a challenge for you it will greatly increase you chances of re-entering the circle. Fat or weak players are essential to any game, for a floundering or tired player to have a rest, and they can later be let win so that more skilled players can enter the game. A word of advice: try not to play with people who are all faster and better than you or you will end up as the weakened goose, or runt as they are known in professional circles. Also, try not to make it too obvious who is the runt of the game, since them knowing is often conducive to them not playing. CONCLUSION Id like first to thank everyone who helped me with this guide, or contributed to it in any way, especially the fine people who run our website http://www.duckduckgooseassociation.org I hope it will encourage more of you to take up duck duck goose, either as a casual hobby or something more serious (though as many of our regulars will tell you, one can quite quickly develop into the other!). Much more information, as well as fixture lists, articles, videos and pictures as well as a full product range can be found on our website, and lively discussion forums ensure there is always something to go back for. You can also find a list of clubs in your area on the site, and how to join and if there isnt a club nearby, why not start one? We can offer advice and guidance on starting and running your club, and on the more practical side of duck duck goose such as finding players, arranging tournaments and advertising. All that remains to be said is good luck with your games of duck duck goose, and who knows, maybe well be hearing from you soon! Best Wishes, Kieran Devaney (Chairman of the Duck Duck Goose Players of England) p.s. The first person to say something about 'having too much time on your hands' will get a furrowed brow in their direction. 10p if anyone can spot two (or possibly more) factual errors in the guide. _________________________________________________________________ Chat with friends online, try MSN Messenger: http://messenger.msn.com +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. 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