"If you dont wear daring clothes because you worry about your cattier girlfriends snickering, I suggest you lose those particular girlfriends and replace them with a buttery pair of understanding leather pants." --Margaret Berry No leather pants in my small circle of knowledge has ever been "understanding." However, we all know that whenever anyone states having a problem with leather pants it's usually code for having a problem with - not the pants - but their fat ass. The Three Cs: Cankles As Kevin explicated, cankle is a word formed from "ankle" and "calf" for those who seem to have no differentiation between the two. I tried to develop my own "cankle gallery" of sorts by taking my digital camera with me to one of my mother's church services in hopes that many of the dumpling of a woman which attend had such an affliction. Or better yet had a THANKLE! (no thigh to calf to ankle definition: tree trunk legs). However, all of them had quite shapely legs and they don't even genuflect! Maybe there are some curative points to green bean casserole afterall. Of course, all of them also do things like hold my hand and trace up my arm with their fingertips while talking to me or do one of those one sided hugs as they run their hand up and down my back slowly. I've been groped more times in church than on any date. There's no telling what kind of exercise these women's legs are getting on the side. When I first heard about this cankle phenomenon (approximately around 3 in the morning), I frantically ran around trying to find someone still awake to look at my legs to tell me if I was indeed cursed with this. However, unlike my moral values and principles, my ankles are quite well defined. Now my worry has moved on to: Carb Face According to Auntsadie, carb face is a real problem facing the modern metrosexual male. I am neither a metrosexual nor a male, yet I like carbs. Down with Atkins! The best example of such puffy faced horror is Xander from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Remember the early seasons when he wore speedos? After carb face hit, he'd wear em just to keep people from staring at his face. Cloche While I'm on fashion and the such, I think I should devote some time to this little bell of a hat which has been more or less neglected since the 1920s, except for that foxy Kelly Macdonald in Gosford Park. They're darling and there's nothing more useful for avoiding eye contact with others while trying to read in a public place - except for a helmet with a visor perhaps. But where's the fashion sense in that? As the aforequoted Margaret Berry said, "Flappers never had bad-hair days. They lopped off their tresses, tugged on a cloche, and headed out for an evening of Charleston and bootleg gin. Whats more, flappers wore comfy dresses shaped like potato sacks. They could wear whatever they liked; who the hell notices when you have that darling bell of a hat on? And so, you see, hats make life easier and loads more fun." I don't really have any April Fools jokes for you. Not even the geeky librarian kind about Laura Bush having been named the new librarian of congress and her first duty was to remove all french books from the collection and rename it the "Ronald Reagan Library of Congress." However, I do want to send birthday shouts out to songles Dave whose birthday is today and to ZoziePop and RICHARD JOHN GILLANDERS who both had ones last week. xo, Ll PS - Also shouts out to Marianna my London Shoe Shopper Extraordinairre, the ever so darling Robin Stout, my own personal photoshop Ken Chu who I promised to declare my love to, and my sinister sinister crush Miss Ullastrator _________________________________________________________________ Protect your PC - get McAfee.com VirusScan Online http://clinic.mcafee.com/clinic/ibuy/campaign.asp?cid=3963 +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+