After drinking a liter of vodka and red bulls!! before going to see mogwai!!!!, topped off with a few slightly less desirable 40's of old english for the post show celebration on saturday night, my friend and I thought that it might be a good idea to get some sleep seeing that the sun was rising and the birds were chirping. One of my other friends had decided to turn in earlier than we did; he got a lot of sleep. I rent a room in this really cooky ladies house, and this is what happened when i woke up later on at about noon, when i had possibly my worst hangover ever, coupled with an insane adrenelin rush. Cooky landlady sticks her head through the door, hearing that we're up and incredulously remarks: "your smoking in here, my god, what are you thinking?" to which my response was : "i don't know what your talking about, i'm not smoking," as i exhale. She says "i made you guys breakfast," and closes the door behind her. I look to my friend and roll my eyes and scratch my head and he tells me that whatever she made looked gross and had been sitting on the table for about three hours. So i went to investigate, and the breakfast in question turned out to be none other than french toast, smothered in coagulated fake syrup set out with forks, knives, napkins, three mini hershey bars, and of all things, three plastic cups of room temperature *from concentrate* orange juice. The french toast looked like it was from before the flood, and thus it looked, in fact, quite gross. But it was a sweet gesture, and i didn't want to tell her to take her french toast and shove it. While i took a shower i devised a plan to get rid of it without leaving a trace. my first thought was to take it and chuck it all out the window, but upon sticking my head through frame i then realized that there was nothing to the throw it into i.e., a bush, and a big pile of french toast sitting outside my window would not be too awfully inconspicuous. For some odd reason i can't control my laughter during this whole ordeal, when the answer comes to me. I run into the kitchen and gather up all three plates, and all three sets of silverware and rush them back to my room, and then i realize that there is not a single old t-shirt that i wanted to wrap all of this cold, bready confection into, so i up and take it into the bathroom with me, because i figure that it'll flush, ya'know, but i didn't make it to the toilet before i saw the big stack of towels, spread one open on the floor, flipped each plate on to the towel, and neatly wrapped it into a pink package, and rushed all the evidence into my bedroom. My friends look at me and break into hysterics, and i almost fall on the floor in painful laughter myself. After shoving the towel underneath my bed, i gathered up all the silverware, and smeared each of them around in the left over syrup so as to give the impression of it having been used, and then carried all three plates and the silverware into the kitchen, into which i stumble upon my landlady washing her dog in the sink. I leave it on the counter and return to my room, by which time we're all in a frantic rush to leave the house, and head into the city in preperation for the sunday night Mogwai!!!!!!!!! show. Upon returning home this after noon, i found the house deserted and a sticky pink towel on top of another towel on my bed. I haven't seen my landlady yet. There was no sign of the french toast. _________________________________________________________________ Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+