S-s-s-s-s-inister~ I was reading an old Ann Landers column today... and stuck in the middle of some petty family arguments was a letter about stutterers. In nice, politically-correct words this writer talked about (can a writer talk? oh, well) this "affliction" and how others are supposed to "deal with it". For some reason, that just absolutely drove something deep and painful into my heart. I have to be 'dealt with'? Yes, I know how it feels to be caught in public, on the phone, in front of someone you love/respect/fear with your mouth open and a word 25 seconds in the making, but I never before knew that I had to be 'dealt with'. The wording of that hurt. Worse than the clumsily helpful teachers, friends, and telemarketers who try to finish my sentences and put words in my mouth (or would that be pull words OUT?). It's already painful enough for me to understand that I will never be comfortable on the phone, that I have aimed my college choice (life) in such a way that I may find a job in which I will have minimal contact with real people, and that the written word is my only semi-eloquent method of communication; that teachers ignore my hand in class and boys just ignore me wholly (the spasmodic jaw look is not exactly worthy of many lustful gazes heh heh heh). It's not so much that the topic was talked about, brought to the forefront (if only for an Ann Landers section), but that it was done so bloodlessly. It's not an animal you are 'dealing with'... it's a person... and no matter how embarrassing it may be for you... you can bet it's worse for the girl or boy standing there with a simple word strangling them. To just speak of handling the immediate problem isn't going to do anything... except make the listener more aware of the problem and the speaker more self-conscious. It's funny how one word, one phrase, can so acutely wound. Especially when the point was too help... sometimes those darts hit the deepest. Forgive me. I am depressed and angry and sensitive and should not be writing letters. Ann "What was your favorite color? What was your favorite poem? What would our children have looked like? Where would our lives have taken us?" Photographing Fairies _________________________________________________________________ Join the worlds largest e-mail service with MSN Hotmail. http://www.hotmail.com +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+