Hiya popkids. Well as it's all quiet here and we seem to be allowed to talk utter arse without getting our virtual wrists slapped (and there are sites dedicated to having a virtual wrist slap, or so i am unreliably informed) or sent to bed without jelly (jelly and beds feature heavily on aforementioned sites), I thought I'd throw my tuppence ha'penny into a hat and then throw that into the ring. If anyone has any suggestions what to do with the ring they can keep them to themselves. You too Casarotto. So I thought i'd wink my very bestest leery Ann Robinson wink and begin. A Ms Dastoor wrote in to wail- "Made me laugh like an idiot on the tube. Don't you hate it when idiots laugh at books on the tube?" Well, Madame Nick, it depends what they're reading. I for my part was chattering like a monkey at Grey's Anatomy on the Bakerloo line this very morn. If it's the tube driver reading a book called "How to stop a Tube" i feel a tad concerned. If it's anyone reading Terry Pratchett/Bill Bryson/Helen Fielding, I take a photo of them to offer as mitigation if any GBH charges are levelled at my subsequent actions. Different strokes for different folks, as my masseuse would say, but some people are just plain wrong. Similarly there's been a lot of doodah about libraries again. Ms Dastoor mentioned they get a ton of crap. Well yes, but it's hardly nursing is it? My librarians are lovely though, so i wouldn't abuse any of them. If they're surly they deserve it. I did work in a bookshop for a while and some customers dis seem o expect me to have read every damn book in the shop. ("Have you got any good novels with Victorian workhouses that I can read to my class?" I kid you not.) I mean, obviously i'd read about 86.2% of them, but still. "Can you recommend a good Terry Pratchett?" "No, he's only written shit ones." - oh the fun you can have on your last day! Oh and kids, don't steal books from libraries as some of you were boasting recently. It ain't big or clever and I doubt Stuart would approve. I have stolen from bookshops and then given the books TO libraries because that's the kinda guy I am. This is immensely cool and if each of you did it once this week, the world would be a slightly sunnier place. Dame Martin Rockford wrote that he was "concerned about the state of the American education system. "How shall we teach European history?". We'll show an American film, about an American selling an American product. Very worrying." True enough, Jim. One, Two, Three (fine film in my book) was actually co-written and directed by an Austrian, but I see your point. And Eric Hobsbawm's great if you want to turn an entire generation into mad, cynical lefties. (Which I do, obviously. Although i don't think we'd get away with that in the US of A. Best just keep giving them guns.) But books in schools? you're showing your age dear girl. Or you would be if you'd also mentioned chalk, slate and ritual buggery by the dorm master. And you can witter about Spandau all you like, but after what that Kray twin did framing poor Maffew, I just can't listen to 'em any more. And you know this much is true. Richard newboy Lander spooked me with his comments about A B&S tribute band. Well Dick, I've pipped you to the post by forming one. I won't tell you what we're called as I'm shy of the publicity for reasons I shall explain in thirty interviews next month. But suffice to say we'll be keeping the flame alive, and giving the kids what they want. Obviously we won't actually be playing any gigs or anything vulgar. But we'll be selling shitloads of T shirts.... see you on the other side. a. ps Chris Rea - Rich Arse. Ain't anagrams great? +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the undead Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "tech-heads and students" +-+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "peculiarly deranged fanbase" "frighteningly named +-+ +-+ Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+