Hewwo, My spyder. Is here in my room and being all spyder like. I got her, and my mum let me and didn't pull out or anything. Her name is Bessie, she's a girl ( not 100% sure, but her abdomen's pretty big so its pretty likely) she's a Curly Hair tarantula and she's only a quarter grown so she's just little. One day though she'll grow up all big and strong. She's so tiny, sometimes she'll be playing and she'll cling round my fingertip with her little legs, and even the crickets she eats are so tiny, and a bit mingy. They sometimes make noise during the night, and they make my skin crawl to look at. She's so fast too, I fed her a cricket and she just looked at it wandering along and then suddenly out of nowhere she jumped on it and played with it because she's a clever little sweetheart then she killed it and wrapped it up in silk for later. I wish she would eat skittles instead, but if I feed her those she might die and I don't really want that. She spends a lot of time hiding under a little log that I got for her to make a hideyhole from. I think it's cause she's too small for the tank still, cause the tank's for a fully grown tarantula and not a little babby like her. She's never bit me yet either, not that it wouldn't be swell to go into school with tarantula bites just like if I was an explorer in the jungle. But I'm glad she hasn't bit me, because I want for us to be friends. Me and Bessie and Bessie and me. And bubbles the fish too, so he won't get jealous. We can be Jen's family, and have adventures once bubbles gets round to building his robot fish suit. We had snow at the weekend. Oh, and I got into university to be a dentist. Well, it's a conditional, because I have to get four A's and a B first, but it's still pretty swell. Even though I'm not a big genius type so I'll have to work till I'm nearly dead, but it'll be very much worth it if I can manage it. We had the fertility awareness people come to our school, which happens to be catholic. They told us that if you have sex before you're about 20 then you'll get cancer, if you go on the pill you'll get cancer for definate, and if that doesn't get you then you'll get blood clots from nowhere, condoms are 40% effective, even if you use the pill and condoms you will still get pregnant, everyone who has sex before marriages has at least 1 STD and is on drugs, if you have sex before you're married then you are dirty and your friends and family and god will hate you, the rhythm method is foolproof, AIDS can eat through condoms. And she also told us there was no point because under 20's are too irresponsible to pop a pill every day or put on a condom, so of course you should use the rhythm method as it is much easier to chart out your mentrual cycle. And this priest gave us a mass about how you should never masturbate because its evil and god will get you and you shouldn't have sex with animals and that god made Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve so gays are evil. Pig. So I informed the lady who came to talk to us that she was mental, and she was just ever so slightly talking blah and she said what do you mean I've used the rhythm method all my life, and I said how many kids do you have and she said 5 and I said I rest my case the only reason the church approves the rhythm method is because it doesnt work and I said that no wonder there were so many teen pregnancies most of them were probably catholic girls who'd been to one of her talks, and that the whole thing especially what the priest said was mokeish and she defended the priest and I said that the priest was probably either bitter because he wasn't getting any, or feeling guilty because he'd just had a fly one and no wonder so many priest turned out to be child abusers and she said if I said one more word she'd throw me out and I said if she said one more word of her mental rubbish i'd leave and then she beed quiet so I won yay. No offense to any catholics on sinister, but my school is just a bit mental. One of the hard kids who never got expelled for nearly killing me when I had to get operations and all that internal bleeding got expelled later on for skipping mass or something. One time I got spat on for having on the catholic school uniform when I was 12 and it was scary, being as I'm not even one of them. I think my parents weren't very happy being as both are, and my mum used to be a nun and everything. I just hate my school, you walk in and this wave of despair hits you, and even though you can't see it you know there's at least ten kids getting beat up for their lunch money and some 11 year olds smoking in the loos and some girl sitting on the toilets crying because the RE was screaming about how gays were going to hell, and she fancies a girl in the year above her, or you can see all the crucifixes glaring at you, a dead jesus in every room nailed to a bit of wood, which isn't the world's most fluffy thing to look at. Which is why I have to escape, because the big rebellion I've got going on in my head is getting tired and I'm not going to change anything so I should run as fast and as far as I can before all the hate and fear and ganging up on people and hardness and coldness and mentalness grabs me and pulls me down and I spend the rest of my life feeling guilty and bitter and dirty the way I did after that sex talk thing. It's like this big prison, and all I have to do is get the grades I need and I can maybe dig a tunnel under the floor and go out and away and forget any of it ever happened and pretend that the hard kids never existed, and the teachers were actually really really nice and friendly, and no one got brainwashed or hurt or damaged and no one ever feared god. I woke up this morning and I felt like i'd been all over america ever though I hadn't. I hope B&S play new york, not because it's anywhere near me, but just because I think it would be nice for them. Ah, I'm being all depressing. Last week was long and many many things of badness happened. One of them NOT being my spider though. She's swell. Hugs, Jen (or Jenny which people have taken to making my name. Not Jaz though, she calls me captain.) +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. 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